Tuesday, December 22, 2009

SONG OF THE DAY - A year in review

Before we give you today's song, let's take a look back at the tunes that made the grade this year.

  1. Don't Stop Believing by Journey

  2. 22 by Lily Allen

  3. Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks

  4. On Tour by Bliss n Eso

  5. Switch by Will Smith

  6. Fascination by Alphabeat

  7. Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners

  8. Cold as Ice by Foreinger

  9. Dangerous by Roxette

  10. Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac

  11. Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen

  12. Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis

  13. Only The Good Die Young by Billy Joel

  14. Absolutely Fabulous by The Pet Shop Boys

  15. I like you better when you're not around by Kate Miller Heidke

  16. You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates

  17. I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness

  18. Bulletproof by La Roux

  19. Here It Goes Again by OK Go

  20. You can call me Al by Paul Simon

  21. Canned Heat by Jamiroquai

  22. Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

  23. Womanizer by Britney Spears

  24. Words by Kate Miller Heidke

  25. Politics in Space by Kate Miller Heidke

  26. The Last Day On Earth by Kate Miller Heidke

  27. Proud Mary by CCR & later Tina Turner

  28. Telephone by Lady Gaga & Beyonce

  29. Speechless by Lady Gaga

  30. What a Fool Believes by The Doobie Brothers

  31. My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

  32. You Are The Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne

  33. Run This Town by Jay-Z, featuring Rhianna and Kanye West

That's quite a list, if we do say so ourselves (and we just did).

Now onto today's entry...

Well it's almost Christmas, so we here at A&F are giving you the greatest holiday song EVER...

All I Want for Christmas is You by the incredible Mariah Carey


You can say what you want about Mariah, but you can't deny that this is a fabulous song and she has an amazing set of pipes! She also wrote and produced it, so you have to give her credit for that.

For those of you, who are Love Actually fanatics, like Kate and I...here is the version of the song from the movie...


Side note...how awesome is it having Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant and Liam Neeson in one movie?! FREAKING AWESOME!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Some people are better than you...and that's ok

Hot damn, I LOVES ME SOME JAY-Z! He is awesome! Reformed crack dealer, now music mogul, worth hundreds of millions of dollars, married to a completely phenomenal chick! That's moving up in the world, I don't care where you're from.

Is it just me, or do he and Beyonce seem to be living the dream? He's fabulous and she is truly from another world. Just look at them...

They're just so cool, so talented, so gorgeous...don't you just hate them...NO YOU DON'T, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

J and B (that's what they call each other) are better than you, they are better me and you know what...that's OK.

Ben Lee has a song called "What would Jay Z do?", it's pretty much just about how awesome he is (I can totally get on board with that). Here it is...


Here's what I'm loving about J and B the most (for the next day or so anyway)...

"Run This Town". Anyone will who went to the Britney concert recently, will remember how awesome this song was to finish the countdown!


"Empire State of Mind"


"03 Bonnie & Clyde"


and the one that started it all, the awesomeness that is "Crazy in Love"


So they are fabulous, they are far more fabulous than you...so deal with it!

Beyonce and Jay Z???


Monday, December 14, 2009


You Are The Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne


How fabulous is Ray Lamontagne? He is like a modern day John Fogerty, all bearded and awesome!

This is Ray's best song in my (always correct) opinion.


Ray Lamontagne?


Monday, December 7, 2009



Here at A&F we love our pop music! We aren't indy, we aren't emo and we certainly aren't heavy metal...We are pop and we love it!!

With that said, I will tell that I just adore Kelly Clarkson. I think she is fabulous, with a truly amazing set of pipes! My sister Heathie and I are off to see Kelly next year, when she tours and we are EXCITED!

I love that she seems like a normal girl. She freely admits her promo shots (like the one above) are air-brushed to hell and that in reality she looks nothing like that.

She's funny, I've heard her on Hamish and Andy several times and she was awesome!

Here's a brief selection of some great Kelly songs...

Since You've Been Gone...

My Life Would Suck Without You...

this is the Glee version of the song...

Because Of You (who doesn't love a good, depressing song)

Don't Waste Your Time...

Already Gone...(live and amazing)

Who doesn't love an angry chick song? Let's be honest ladies we all need them once and a while, right? RIGHT!

So Kelly Clarkson??


Bah! Humbug!

You know, I get where this guy is coming from...

This guy, he had the right idea. Poor bastard just couldn't escape the pressure of all the poor and boring people that kept bothering him...

Poor Bill Murray he was just a guy trying to get his job done. So, he wasn't really into Christmas...does that means he deserved to be haunted by 3 (very unattractive) ghosts?

I'm just going to put it out there...I (Alli) hate Christmas.

It hasn't always been that way. I, like every child loved it when I was growing up. I should also say that I have always been incredibly spoilt by the people in my life when it comes to presents (I'm looking at you mum!) I truly appreciate this generosity and thoughtfulness and I enjoy buying gifts for people in return.

The exchanging of gifts with people is not my issue with Christmas. Nor do I dislike how commercial it's become, to be honest I adore how commercial it's become. YAY Capitalism!

My issue is everything else! I'll give you a list (you know how I enjoy those):

  1. The forced socialising! If I like you, I'll spend time with you, if I don't, I won't...it's as simple as that. Yet at this time of year, you are expected to speak to every member of your family. This includes people you haven't spoken to years, have zero in common with and less than nothing to talk about, but it's Christmas so you're guilted into it!

  2. The rabid mobs of idiots that descend upon every major shopping center. Chermside during that 36 hour trading thing...I think that's what hell must be like. People walking too slowly, stopping in the middle of walkways, stroller-pushers thinking they have the right to do whatever they like and people seemingly forgetting that you have to pay for goods, then fumbling for money at the register! It's the general slowness of EVERYTHING that pisses me off.

  3. The decorating of trees. This takes far too long, is far too messy and is the most annoying thing to take down. In the wise words of The Lonely Island "FUCK TREES"! Right on boys, perhaps I'll decorate a buoy instead.

  4. The heat! It's no secret that I hate the heat, perhaps I would enjoy Christmas more if it was snowing. Now with global warming this may happen in Brisbane one day soon (yet another reason I do very little to help the environment). Where's your Christmas spirit now Al Gore!

  5. Cheesy televised Christmas Carols. Let me say that I don't have an issue with the carols themselves, in fact I love to hear a bit of The Little Drummer Boy. My issue is the mass choirs they have at the back of these things! Oh god, the cheeseball, overly enthusiastic facial expressions. The coordinated hand gestures. The monk like robes! Just awful.

Now I'm not a bad person, I don't hate everything Christmas related. Here's a few of the things I love about Christmas...

  1. A Muppet Christmas Carol. Michael Caine and Muppets! That's a winning combo! It is awesome and I love it!
  2. Scrooged. You know I love Bill Murray and it is a truly hilarious movie!
  3. Love Actually. The genius of Richard Curtis. This movie is as close to perfect as it gets.
  4. Home Alone 1&2. LOVE THEM! They are truly hilarious.
  5. Jingle All The Way. Arnie, in a Christmas movie? YES PLEASE! It also has Sinbad..."This is a sick world we live in, with sick people!
  6. The Santa Clause. Tim Allen GOLD
  7. Elf. "It's Santa, it's Santa! I know him I KNOW HIM"
  8. All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey. Freaking awesome!!
  9. Last Christmas by Wham (check out the Glee cast version too!) Love it!!!
  10. Chocolate covered Almonds
  11. Candy Canes
  12. Spending time with the family and friends I do love
  13. Seeing people really enjoy the gift I gave them

Visitors to this site will know of my undying love for Seinfeld. I always watch an episode called "The Strike" at this time of year. In this perfect episode Frank Costanza introduces us to Festivus. Frank hates Christmas and Festivus is what he created to take it's place...


My favourite part is the airing of grievances...I can get on board with that. I've got a lot of problems with you people!




Saturday, December 5, 2009

Alli, smarter than Kate? That can't be right...

Ah, so, um, it turns out Future Alli was much more intelligent that Future Kate. That's not something I ever thought I'd write, but there it is.
Of course, you, dear reader, are questioning why. I can hear you "But Kate, you are SO much smarter than Future Alli...". It's true, I am. But this one time I will admit defeat in the intelligence stakes. Here's why:
I went and saw Paranormal Activity.

Loyal readers of this site will know that we have a penchant for torturing ourselves by going to horror films we know will freak us out. You think we would have learnt after Orphan. As it turns out, Alli is a faster learner. Huh. Who knew?

ANYWAY, this film was, in a word, terrifying! I wouldn't quite put it in the same league as The Blair Witch Project but it's up there!
You know how we feel about people just 'standing'. MY GOD. I have never seen more standing than that which is featured in Paranormal Activity. As Alli duly noted in a text after I told her of my stupidity in going to see the movie: "Of course there was standing. It's called Paranormal Activity and we all know there's nothing more paranormal than standing."
So true.
There were breezes as well! And fires!

It was interesting though. You know how in most movies most of the characters seem too scared, too willing to put whatever just occurred down to an evil spirit and run away for no real apparent reason? In this case, by the end of the film, you really want them to die, for being so freaking stupid for staying in this place with all this paranormal activity for so freaking long.

That aside, I can thoroughly recommend it you like to scare yourself stupid, which I obviously do. I live alone, and blatantly refused to stay in my own house after I'd seen the film.
So, well done Paranormal Activity. Thanks for making me look like an idiot. I didn't really need the help.

Paranormal Activity?

DECISION: AWESOME (ly terrifying).

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Michael McDonald is awesome!

The guy was a member of Steely Dan and The Doobie Brothers, but also is an amazing solo artist!

Anyone who has seen any Judd Apatow film, will know he is often referenced. Michael also features in an episode of 30 Rock.

Here's the perfect storm of awesome that is, Mr McDonald, Paul Rudd and Jane Lynch in The 40 Year Old Virgin


Here is the fabulous Jane Krakowski singing in McDonald's style on 30 Rock..


This is our favourite song by the great man, it's from his time with The Doobie Brothers...


So Michael McDonald???


Monday, November 30, 2009

Our changing stance on Lady Gaga

Slowly but surely, we here at A&F are changing our minds about Lady Gaga. We strongly recommend listening to/buying The Fame Monster her remastered CD, it is incredible.

We have long thought she was a total weirdo, despite being immensely talented. Yet we recently saw this interview with her on Ellen...

Sure she is wearing a latex dress and her eyes look like she fell into a river of glitter, but ultimately she comes off as a charming, sweet and surprisingly normal girl.

Then there is her performance of her new song Speechless....AMAZING!

That's all

Saturday, November 28, 2009

30 ROCK!


I (Alli) have a list of favourite TV shows, which has been set in stone for a long time....

  1. Seinfeld

  2. The Office (US &UK)

  3. Survivor

  4. Absolutely Fabulous

  5. Extras

  6. The Vicar of Dibley

  7. Arrested Development

  8. Entourage

  9. Coupling

However recently I have made 2 additions. The first being Glee (however not the subject of this post), the other 30 Rock!

This show is so hilarious, it's almost perfect! Tina Fey created, stars in, writes and produces it and I just think she is amazing. Fey is also responsible for the brilliance that is Mean Girls, but that too is for another post.

This is about 30 Rock. I could ramble on all day about it, but it's better if you just see for yourself. In my opinion Season 1, Episode 5 is the best so far, but below is a selection of awesome scenes to get you on board...

The amazing combo of Alec Baldwin and Will Arnett


The genius of Tina Fey


Alec Baldwin, who can now do no wrong in my eyes...


Dr Spaceman...


So please enjoy! Oh and btw JB Hi Fi have the first 3 seasons as a box set for about $55...now that's a good deal

So 30 Rock?



"Telephone" by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce
So loyal readers of our blog, will be aware of our feelings about Lady Gaga. To clarify we HATE the insane outfits and crazed, blood soaked performances BUT we love, love, LOVE the music.
There is no question she is one talented chick, who has a quality voice, plays the piano and writes her own songs. So what happens when you cross Lady Gaga with the force of nature that is Beyonce?
You get "Telephone". A totally AMAZING song we are obsessed with!!
Oh and for those of you who have mixed feelings about Beyonce, we suggest you watch the video below...the girl is a freaking ROCK STAR! This is one of the coolest things we've seen in a long time
So "Telephone"?

Sunday, November 15, 2009


"Proud Mary" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

So it's safe to say that CCR is one of the greatest bands of all time! So many classic songs, such a great sound. It's "Proud Mary" though, that we dedicate today's post to.

Here is the original...


This song has been covered countless times, perhaps most famously by Tina Turner...


Most recently the awesome show Glee did a version...



It is one of the catchiest songs ever and we here at A&F adore it, in all it's forms

So "Proud Mary"???


Saturday, November 14, 2009

Reason # 89108 to love Ricky Gervais

Loyal readers of our site will know, that we truly love Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.

So we eagerly await the Australian release of Ricky's new film The Invention of Lying.

Here is the link to the trailer...

WE CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to share with you this little gem. Anyone who owns Extras on DVD will have seen "Finding Leo". I truly can't watch this without crying with laughter...you'll see why

Oh also just for fun, here is a clip of Ricky and Chris Martin. Now I used to think Chris, whilst being an incredible musician, was a bit of a douche. Then I saw him on Extras, dueting with Farhnsy and this little gem and I now think he is AWESOME...

So anything vaguely associated with Ricky Gervais????


Generalising to make your point???

DECISIOM: Totally satisfying

Thursday, November 12, 2009

There are times I wish I was going through a break up

Okay, maybe I did in the not-too-distant past. But it was not a time for tears, it was time for joyous dancing in the streets and a celebration of freedom.
I have absolutely no doubt any who knows of the relationship I had will agree.
However, had I been so inclined (I wasn’t) to wallow (I don’t) in sadness (none), I would have done so to this song:


The Last Day On Earth

Yes, it is one night before the A & F team attends the Kate Miller-Heidke concert, so I promise you this will be our last KMH post for a while. But we simply couldn’t go to the concert without recognising this beautiful song.

Granted, it’s not our usual type of song, which generally only gets a hearty A & F tick of approval if one or both of us has danced around our own houses to it whilst home alone.
You can’t REALLY dance to The Last Day On Earth, unless you’re doing some sort of crap interpretive modern dance (Grade 10 Drama Students every where, I’m looking at you).

Anyway, the point is this is song I can definitely imagine sitting in a corner of a room, listening to it, clutching a bottle of wine and sobbing.
I’ll leave you with that glorious image.

(But before I do, I also must note the fabulous dress she wears in the film clip. I fucking adore it. I think it's Alannah Hill, but correct me if I'm wrong).
The Last Day On Earth?

DECISION: AWESOME....but in a sad, flawsome kind of way.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Do I look like some kind of moron to you?

No, don’t answer that, I’ll only get offended.

So, I generally think a lot of the population is at least of a ‘functional’ level of intelligence, i.e, they know enough to get through the basics of their day.
Some people do not know much MORE than that, but that’s not the point I’m making today.

I don’t think I particularly LOOK like an idiot. Maybe this is where my theory all falls down, maybe that’s exactly how I look.
Regardless, I can’t help but get the impression a lot of people mistake my wide-eyed innocence (ha) for stupidity.
For example, the other day I was down at Bunning’s (and that, my friends, is a whole other post. I LOVE YOU BUNNINGS!), purchasing some paint.

So I order the paint, and the chap starts making it and then comes back to me and asks what I was painting, to which I replied “Oh, just a feature wall in the lounge room.”
“Oh. Do you have a paint roller?”.
Now, that in itself does not sound too bad. But it was the way he said it. Slowly. Loudly. The way you would speak to a kind of person that has a ‘pants before shoes’ sign in their room.
Well, No Mr, I don’t have no roller! What’s a roller? I was planning on standing on the carpet, pouring the paint over my head and then just rolling myself along the wall in an artistic fashion. This is how it is done, no?

And then, about two days after this I was getting some cold and flu drugs from the Chemist. This time, the female attendant was telling me I should have a maximum of four tablets from the two different kind of drugs I had.
“So, that’s TWO from this packet, and TWO from that packet….so four in total, not four from each…”
REALLY?! SERIOUSLY?! I really look like the kind of person that can’t do the maths a five-year-old could do?!
I’m surprised she didn’t talk me through the process of using the EFTPOS machine and how I needed to press the pretty red and green buttons.
Hell, I’m surprised she assumed I needed to trade “money” for “goods” to make a “purchase”.
Of course, that whole ‘being polite’ thing overtakes me once again, and instead of saying
“LADY – I’m not mentally retarded” I say something more like “Okay, great, thank you. Two from each.” This probably just serves to exacerbate the problem. DAMN YOU MANNERS!

This problem has been plaguing me my whole life. I remember at High School, despite finishing within, oh, I don’t know, the top 3.5% percent of the state, I still managed to take home the ‘Biggest Bimbo’ award.
Granted, it was a tie. And I still claim whoever was counting the votes had it in for me and clearly just confused me for another Kate.
I MAY have managed to trip down the stairs in front of the 300 or so other people at the formal whilst accepting the award – but I fail to see how this makes me a bimbo.

So what is it?
Is it my magpie-like attraction to shiny things?
Is it that vacant, lifeless expression my eyes have in photos when I'm not really smiling?
Is it my habit of speaking THEN thinking?
Is it the fact that I often forget my pants?
I don’t know. But I do know this:

If a person is standing in front of you, fully dressed, coherent and NOT drooling and NOT wearing a super-hero mask and cape when they’re 25, that’s probably a relatively good indication that they know they need a roller to paint the wall.

People generally assuming you’re a little bit retarded?


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009


I can't tell you how much I love this movie! It is AMAZING! It is hilarious!

I remember when it came out, I so wanted to be Wednesday...now with all the tragic emo freaks out there, I'm singing a different tune.

The movie came out in 1994 and it holds up so well! It's one of those rare films where the sequel is far superior to the original (this was not the case with "Bring it on again"...not that I ever saw that...anyway).

Here a few fantastic clips...ENJOY!

The Thanksgiving play


The incredible Joan Cusack, one of the greatest monologues in movie history


The awesomeness that is Anjelica Huston


Last but not least Christina Ricci as Wednesday...just fabulous


If you haven't seen this movie for a long time, GET ON IT!

"Addams Family Values"????



So next Friday we are of to see our beloved KMH perform and we are very EXCITED!

This week A&F will feature some fabulous KMH songs, in the lead up to the big show...

Let's kick things off with Alli's favorite..."Words"


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Catherine Zeta Jones is AWESOME!

Hot damn we adore Catherine Zeta Jones! We must say that before Chicago, we thought she was a fairly talentless, gold-digger...HOW WRONG WE WERE!

She is so AMAZING in that movie, she puts everyone else to shame! She can sing, she can dance and she can act...we would hate her, but she is just too fabulous!

Here is a clip of CZJ performing "All that Jazz" from Chicago! Feisty, powerful and putting the ridiculously thin Renee Z to shame!


Here is the "Cell Block Tango"...


We've got a lot of time for fellow AWESOME brunettes!

We saw Chicago at QPAC recently and it was AMAZING! If you get the chance to see it...GO!

Anyway Catherine Zeta Jones???


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

SONG OF THE DAY/ Ode to Britney or as we call her Britters

"Womanizer" by Britney Spears


So we have a confession to make to you, our dear and faithful readers...we LOVE Britney Spears.

For a very long time now, indeed since 1998, we have adored Britters. Sure there have been troubled times, rocky patches where we questioned our faith, but ultimately we've stood by her.

We proudly own all her music and dance to it unashamedly.

We had genuine concern for her when she began her tailspin into insanity. If I recall correctly we may have called each other, whilst watching the play-by-play of her hospitalisation on Perez (oh and every other news service).

We were worried when we saw the crazy in her eyes (we recognised it from occasionally seeing it in the mirror).

We tried to justify it when she shaved her head (it really doesn't look that bad?? ) and attacked that car with the umbrella (maybe she's just trying to be helpful...maybe it was raining...maybe she was just try to give the paps a hug).

Yet through it all we stood by her, believing that she would get back with Justin, wash her hair, throw those cut off shorts out, quit smoking, wear underwear, release an awesome comeback single and finally tour Australia. Now if you ask us, 2 out of 7 ain't bad!

The day we found our Britters was finally coming to Australia was a glorious day. It was like winning the lotto (except we had to pay $120 for the ticket, didn't win any money and that our lives are exactly the same). Now our seats may be hilariously bad but we don't care!

So we've picked "Womanizer" for SOTD. It was THE comeback single and it is catchy and fabulous! We love that she acknowledges her past crazy behaviour..."You say I'm crazy...I got your crazy"!

The video is classic Britters, it has just a hint of trash (hello nude seen) but is really, totally polished and great...oh and btw it has a shimmy in it! The shimmy, the dance move that everyone is capable of...god bless it!

So Britters...we love you, don't ever change (except please wash your hair, put on some underwear and get back together with Justin..ok, thanks)

Womanizer and Britney???


Sunday, October 18, 2009


"Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond

Ok, so I am going to put it all on the line here and say *deep breath*, I think Neil Diamond is kind of amazing.

So I know he is kind of a dork, that he shows way too much chest hair (only Probst gets away with that) and has hair to rival Ray Martin...but who cares?! His songs are classic and great and hot damn the man can sing!

Check this out...

Oh and for those of you who doubt he is a legend, I've got one word for you...GLEE!

If he's good enough to be on Glee, then he's good enough for me, good enough for A&F and good enough for you!

Here is the clip of Puck from Glee, belting out the universal classic...ENJOY!

It is fabulous!

So Sweet Caroline???


Saturday, October 17, 2009

So we are cheaters...

Let us begin by saying, that this post has been a long time coming.

You see when you really love something, finding the right words to express that is incredibly difficult. In fact, sometimes words aren't enough.

A long time ago, we feel in love with a man called Ricky Gervais and his little show called The Office.

That show is perfection. It is hilarious, sweet and quite simply there isn't enough of it.

Here is an example of the perfection that is Ricky Gervais, David Brent and The Office...


So when we heard there was an American version of the show being made, we were concerned to say the least. Alli's sister Heather was the first to get on board. Heather first started watching it, when Channel 10 originally aired it, late at night several years ago.

For quite a while Alli resisted the U.S version, believing there was no way it could possibly live up to the original. How wrong she was. The more she watched, the more she LOVED IT! It wasn't long before Kate came on board too, the show and it's charm is impossible to resist.

We here at A&F are truly obsessed with this show. Sure the first episode is essentially a word-for-word copy of the original, but the remaining 5 seasons of the show are pure genius. Even better Steven Merchant and Ricky Gervais are involved with it, so it's not really like we are cheating on them.

Not a day goes by when we here at A&F don't send random Office quote texts to each other. They are hilarious and random and damn it...they just make us happy. Every character in the U.S version is awesome! We love them all and we don't play favorites...most of the time.

So we thought we'd give you a few clips from the U.S The Office, in an attempt to bring it to the masses. Just think of us as Jesus and of YouTube as the bible...you're welcome universe

That's what she said...


Jim and Dwight




Oh and finally there's Michael Scott...awkward perfection. He perhaps makes us more uncomfortable than David Brent...yep we're pretty sure that kiss in "Gay Witch Hunt" sealed that deal.


So I'm sure this won't be last time we post about The Office U.S, but for now...




"Canned Heat" by Jamiroquai

It's been a while since we here at A&F, gave you a SOTD so we thought we'd kick things up a notch!

This song is so fun and catchy. You can't help but bust-a-move (yep we just said that, and yes we are aware that we're white chicks...no, not like that Wayans brothers movie, so don't get your nickers in a knot Harry Connick Jnr, no white face involved) when it comes on.

Here is the official video


Oh and here is the song, as featured in the classic (by that we mean awful) movie Center Stage. Try and ignore the terrible, terrible acting and focus on the dancing. Let's face it who doesn't love feeling bad about themselves? Nothing gets that done faster, than seeing other people's talent...yep that is AWESOME!


So "Canned Heat"????


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Why'd you do it to us, Harry?

What a fucking storm in a teacup. It’s events like this that make us grateful we have this website. It really was just a way of letting us whine to multiple people, rather than just each other.

Yes, we’re talking about none other than the Hey Hey skit/debacle.
Hey, Earth to Earth: It was a joke. Maybe you just didn’t get it right away.
All these self-righteous white folk are so freakin’ quick to jump on their high horses. How’s the view from up there, assholes?

You know what’s hilarious? I’m yet to hear one black person having a cry about it. Maybe that’s because they don’t care. Mainly, I think, because it WASN’T OFFENSIVE. The Jackson Five are/were black. It’s not like the group were saying black people are shit. They were just pointing out that yes, black people exist.
And once some of them were in a band that were awesome and sung songs.

And then one of them went white.

And now all these international journalists are getting on the “My, oh my, Australia is so racist…” bandwagon. GOD. Get a brain and opinion of your own. It’s funny, these English and American journalists thinking that Australia is racist. Um, guys…have you looked outside lately? Pot, meet Kettle.
I don’t know if you know this, but the guy that was Michael Jackson in the skit….yep, Indian. HOW THE HELL DID HE GET IN THIS COUNTRY?! GET HIM OUT, GET HIM OUT!

I suddenly just remember, why, in general, I don’t like people very much.

Loser international journalists on their blogs?

DECISION: Flawsome

Golliwog biscuits?

DECISION: Man, I wish I had one of them right now.

Oh, and PS PERSON WHO JUST DARED QUESTION ME. You know who you are. I am aware of the whole 'cultural signifigance' of it all - the whole Black Faces/Minstrels things.
My point, however, remains unchanged.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


So loyal reader, it's time to introduce a new element to the site.

Please welcome...MOVIE OF THE MOMENT!!!

This is where we bring to you, the movies we think are AWESOME!!! Some are recent, some have been forgotten, yet all are AMAZING!

So let's kick things off...

The 3 Amigos!

Such a fantastic movie, so hilarious!

The best line of the movie, comes from Steve Martin aka Lucky Day

"In a way all of us have an El Guapo to face one day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big dangerous guy who wants to kill us."

You can check out that speech by clicking below...

There is singing and dancing (all be it wonderfully bad)...

It has the singing bush (minds out of the gutter please people, this site is known for it's classy content)

Oh and here at A&F we are having a major Chevy Chase moment (see previous post for further justification)! His character's name is Dusty Bottoms, as Kate says it is hilarious on so many levels!

So please, do yourselves a favour and watch it ASAP!

The 3 Amigos!???


Friday, October 2, 2009


A long time ago, in the year 1986 there was a song.
A song called "You can call me Al" by Paul Simon.
This song is so fun and catchy, but it's the video I love the most!
The video is amazing for several reasons...
  1. It is simple. There are no special effects. There are no trashy girls in even trashier outfits. It is what it is and I have a lot of time for that.
  2. It's funny. The height difference between Paul Simon and Chevy Chase alone is hilarious.
  3. It has Chevy Chase! He is awesome in it! His miming of the lyrics while Paul Simon mimes the backing vocals is GENIUS! Oh, also he is Dusty Bottoms in The Three Amigos, so I can't not love him.
  4. I love Chevy's Na Na Na solo! It is pure gold.
  5. It's just a really great song.

So here's the link...


Oh an FYI, you may definitely NOT call me Al (I really hate that).

So "You can call me Al"???


The video for the song???

DECISION: SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME! I truly think it is one of the best videos of all time!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


We are so inspiring.
We were so inspired by our last post we decided to do a new post that related, in some vague manner, to our previous post.

Today's Song Of The Day is: Here It Goes Again by Ok Go (you see the connection, oui?)


What's not to love about this?

Firstly, the song itself rocks. It's the kind of song you can do the 'Running Man' to, and I like that in a song.
Secondly, it's seriously got to be one of the greatest film clips of all time.
Even better than Beyonce's Single Ladies (Don't you interrupt me, Kanye, it is). And definitely better than anything Taylor Swift has ever done.

They either DID choreograph it themselves, or they had the world's greatest 'looks like it's not professionally choreographed' choreographer. Did I mention I like the word choreograph?
I also love a bald man in a waist coat. Wait, no, I don't. I must be thinking of something else I like. Oh, that's right, men with hair not wearing waist coats.

But, credit where credit is due, he works the waist coat. He could probably work a fob watch, too, if he tried. And I can imagine he'd walk about, asking people if they'd like to know the time, then get out this fob watch, tell them the time and then be all like "Don't act like you're not impressed.". Because they would be.

Also, although it's not going to make Song Of The Day, I also suggest you check out A Million Ways to be Cool, the film clip for which really launched Ok Go. How they managed to eclipse this film clip with Here It Goes Again is truly the work of God and/or the Gods.


Ok Go?


Sigh. Here we go again.

Why does this keep happening to us, seriously? It pains us. It makes us want to cause pain.

You guys already know how much we love people who don’t actually know how to use common sayings…but gosh darn it, they just go ahead and use them anyway. Because people are selfish like that.

So, here’s the one we heard yesterday “It totally fails in comparison...”

What? No.

Just. No.

There is a small part of us that wants to say “That could almost makes sense....maybe?”. But then a much larger part of us says “You’re a moron.”

The saying is: it PALES in comparison. PALES. Do you understand?

Yes, it rhymes with fails. But it starts with a different letter and has a completely different meaning. It’s almost like IT’S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORD.

I can almost hear you saying…but Kate & Alli, you’re not perfect. That’s where you are wrong, my friend. We are.

You, lady on Ferny Grove train?


Thursday, September 24, 2009


Some days an amazing event occurs.

Some days so much awesomeness is in the air, that it forms a perfect storm. No I'm talking the kind of perfect storm that involves George Clooney, a ship in poor shape and computer generated waves, I mean a storm of AMAZING SONGS!

So as you know Kate and I usually only one Song of the Day...that's not the case my friends. Today a dust storm of fabulous songs has clouded Brisbane (see what I did there? Relevant, people!)

Today we do 2!!!!!

I love love love this song!

"Bulletproof" by La Roux


So Bulletproof?



Let me start by staying that Justin Hawkins, lead singer of The Darkness, is in NO WAY attractive. He looks like he should be in Deliverance, challenging someone to a duel with a Banjo.

However, having said that, let me say this: I want to have sex with him. Without touching him, because I’m sure I’d get some disease. Is that possible? As we all know from Pulp Fiction, personality goes a long way. And Justin Hawkins is mad-ass cool.

All of his songs are glam-rock awesome, and as he proved on Top Gear he’s hilarious. And a pretty okay driver. And I respect that in a man. I don’t respect drug or alcohol addictions, but he’s been to re-hab, and that always works, doesn’t it? Lindsay?

This song, I Believe in a Thing Called Love was really the pinnacle of what The Darkness was. I don’t allow myself to listen to it on the train anymore, since I caught myself miming along to it when listening to it on my Ipod. And that probably wasn’t even the most embarrassing thing I did that day.

Anyway, put on those glittered platform-soled boots and white jumpsuits and prepare to ROCK THE FUCK OUT!


Monday, September 21, 2009

500 days of AWESOME!

So today I (Alli) went to see 500 Days of Summer. Let me just say how much I adored this movie!!! It was fantastic!

We here at A&F have loved Joseph Gordon Levitt since 3rd Rock From The Sun. That show was hilarious and I am happy to say, that he is just as wonderful now as he was then.

Not only was 500 Days fun, sweet, real and hilarious, it also had a AN IMPROMPTU DANCE SEQUENCE! Always the first sign of a quality film.

So what's better than an impromptu dance sequence? One set to a totally fabulous song!

The link below shows the best scene from the movie, but do yourself a favour and GO SEE IT...NOW!


That song is "You Make My Dreams" by Hall and Oates and it is a classic! You may remember it from The Wedding Singer.

For your enjoyment I've added the links to my favourite scenes from 3rd Rock From The Sun...



So 500 Days Of Summer?


Joseph Gordon Levitt?


So in closing, I've got one thing to say to you all...WE WILL MIX THE WHITES AND COLOURS...ONE LOAD..ONE WORLD! Oh and I most certainly don't want to be part of any group, that hates the lower case letter t!

Monday, September 14, 2009

I love fireworks!

I would like to share with you, dear reader, some personal texts that were exchanged between Allison and I on Saturday night.

We were both out. And both, shall we say, intoxicated.

A: I just heard Come On Eileen
K: I just did karaoke to Wonderwall. I’m like the Liam of Awesome.
A: Does that make me Noel? I am NOT cool with that!
K: You are SO Noel.
A: Well in that case...Fuck you, you stupid asshole.
K: I’m going to marry a wanker and break up the band.
A: Fine then. I’m going to quit, tour several times around the globe and then quit again.
K: Ha Ha ha.

What I’m wishing to illustrate to you, my friends, is that our awesomeness is not just limited to this site.
We are 100% awesome, 100% of the time.
Although perhaps the most surprising part of the exchange is we managed to spell things correctly and be at least somewhat coherent, which is surprisingly difficult on iPhones when drunk.

HOWEVER, Saturday night also served to further compound a fundamental belief I hold that really helps define my life:
Saturday night was ‘Riverfire’. It’s the commencement of the Brisbane Festival and basically a massive fuck-off fireworks show over the river and city.
As well as about 40,000 fireworks (literally), the F1-11s fly over and do a ‘dump and burn’, which is every bit as cool as it sounds. You kinda see the trail from it in the photo below - obviously it looks nothing like this in real ife, but hey. It's a cool photo.

So there I was on Saturday night, watching the fireworks from the balcony of the Treasury Casino. Sure, I’m 25, but goddamnit I LOVE FIREWORKS. Fireworks = happiness. I have absolutely no doubt that on Saturday night I looked a bit like somebody’s ‘special’ friend, just standing there, drink in hand with a massive grin on my face, watching fireworks. I think we’ve spoken before about the simple pleasures in life. And fireworks, to me, are an excellent example of one of these pleasures.

But then ‘Bitchface’, as I have dubbed her, rocked up.
Standing behind me was this woman. She was, it must be said, A GIGANTIC TOOL.
The WHOLE time she whined:
“Omigod, is this it? Is this what Brisbane gets so excited about? I can’t believe it’s just a whole bunch of fireworks. I thought it would be so much more, I can’t believe how lame this is”.

It took EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH I HAD not to turn around and smack her stupid face. Even the guy she was with seemed a little embarrassed by her. And rightly so.
Seriously, who thinks they are too good for fireworks?! They’re pretty, they’re sparkly and shiny. All the things I like.

It was blatantly obvious she was a Melbourne/Sydney-sider and thought ‘Hang on, there’s no way I can allow myself any pleasure in Brisbane, or allow myself to think that any part of Brisbane is okay.’
Well, love, here’s what I’ve got to say on behalf of Brisbane: FUCK YOU. And your little dog, too. She didn’t actually have a little dog with her, but she’s the kind of person that would have one. And carry it in a purse and make it wear clothes.

Much of the time I was watching the fireworks, I was debating whether to say something. Of course, as Kate, my role in life is to be confrontational and not let people have opinions different to mine. So in the end I ended up with
“God, it must be SO depressing to be you. Oh, and you’re kind of fat.”
Immature. Yes.
Satisfying. INCREDIBLY.
And I walked away, leaving her there with this shocked look on her face, without the quick-wittedness to reply.

Fireworks and Brisbane: 1
Dumb Bitch: 0

So, that stupid bitch?

Remembering how bitchy you could be in high school and doing it to a complete stranger 10 years later because they were annoying you?


Thursday, September 10, 2009


You know what I love? People from Brisbane who have gone done good (it's International Speak Like a Yokel Day, FYI).

Take, for example, me. And when I say me I mean Kate Miller-Heidke. We share the same name, so I am assuming we also have must more in common.

I LOVE her. I hate the term 'girl-crush' with a passion, but if I were to have one, it would be her.

Just look at her:
I mean, she's clearly wearing a Ken Done scarf here. Do I really need to tell you any more? She's probably the only person (besides Kath Day-Knight, of course) that can rock Ken Done and make it fabulous.

Anyway, all her songs are amazing. Like, say, Mike Skinner of The Streets, her songs tend to tell a story. And I like that in a song. Although I don't like that in a person, unless the story somehow involves me.

My current favourite off her album Curiouser is this baby, I like you better when you're not around:

(Sorry for the poor quality vid...but I don't control YouTube, so quit your complaining).
I can't remember the last time I listened to a song so many times in a row.
It's so cheery, yet so bitchy. Kind of like me.

"I mean like what the hell is with her, I mean like, no offence!"

Kate Miller-Heidke & I like you better when you're not around?


Wednesday, September 9, 2009


"Absolutely Fabulous" by The Pet Shop Boys

Words can't express how much we adore French and Saunders, they are fabulous! Together they are incredible but in our opinion, their best work comes when they are working separately.

In Dawn's case you have The Vicar of Dibley, one of the best shows of all time. That show was always hilarious and had the most perfect season finale! Sadly this post isn't about The Vicar, that post will have it's day though we promise you.

Today we champion Jennifer Saunders and the awesomeness that is Absolutely Fabulous!

We are particularly fond of Season 1, it is, without question the best. In that first season, there is not a moment that is not perfect and hilarious!

We could gush all day about it but we won't. Instead we'll simply tell you to watch the video below...it, like The Dead Sea Scrolls explains everything and nothing. This song is brilliant, it's one of our favourite shows squeezed into 3 min 41 sec and really isn't that just the most awesome thing ever!


Our motto for the day is "Just do your best darling"!

"Absolutely Fabulous" ?????



Friday, September 4, 2009


A long time ago ,Kate and I discovered our mutual love for The Joel. It's one of the reasons we've been friends for so long. The Joel brings people together...like Jesus (also we're pretty sure that if The Joel could turn water into wine, he'd be the happiest man on earth *glug* *glug*).
Our copies of The Ultimate Collection, have been played to death. That album truly doesn't have a bad song on it! If you don't have it, do yourself a favour and get it! We promise you won't be disappointed.
A couple of years ago, Kate and I went to see The Joel in concert. IT WAS AWESOME! Sure we were the youngest people there by about 15 years, but we didn't care! I believe Kate had a video of that concert, on which our incredible voices could be heard belting out the classics. Sadly you will never find that video on this site. I think it was destroyed..in a...fire...yeah that's right a fire. So um, we're sorry about that. You can rest assured though that the quality of our singing was top notch.
It seems fit that SONG OF THE DAY, goes to the great man.
But which song, there are so many choices...
  1. "Piano Man"
  2. "Uptown Girl"
  3. "The Longest Time" (the favourite song of Michael Scott, who is truly worthy of his own post)
  4. "My Life"
  5. "A Matter of Trust"
  6. "We Didn't Start The Fire" (or as it's know to fans of US The Office.."Ryan Started the Fire")
  7. "She's Always A Women"
  8. "It's Still Rock'n'Roll To Me"
  9. "New York State Of Mind"
  10. "Just The Way You Are"
  11. "Big Shot"
  12. "You May Be Right"
  13. "Tell Her About It"
  14. "I Go To Extremes"
  15. "The River Of Dreams"
  16. "All About Soul"
  17. "Modern Woman"

We could go on all day, but we have to go with..

"Only The Good Die Young" by Billy Joel
So, "Only The Good Die Young"??
Billy Joel?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


I was going to leave this post to the power of the iPhone...but then I remember I have a brain. And that my iPhone can't type. I SEE YOUR FAILINGS NOW, PHONE!
You did so well to hide them for so long, but now we've had this relationship for a few months, they're all starting to come out and show themselves. I thought you were this totally different person, but then your true colours really started showing, and not in a good Phil-Collins-type- way.
....Ah. Um. I might have stopped talking about my phone there for a little bit.
Forgive me, iPHone, I still love you.

ANYWAY Song Of The Day is: Chelsea Dagger by the Fratellis. Now, I've only been to one actual EPL (English Premier League) match in my time, but in my head, they play this song at EVERY match, and everyone sings to it. Don't correct me if I'm wrong. It makes me want to jump around, holding a pint and spilling it on people. And then maybe stab someone.

I have no idea what this song is about, or whether it even has a story to it, but I LOVE IT:


Yeah, you try to listen this and not nod or tap your foot in some way. You won't.

Chelsea Dagger?


Thursday, August 27, 2009


"Dancing in the Dark" by Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen

Dammit this song is AWESOME! Every time it comes on, we can't help but break out some 80s dance moves (see the video below).

On a deeper lever, we have come to believe that The Boss is a secret genius.

But Kate and Alli, that is absurd!! you say

Well, well, well we STRONGLY DISAGREE! Here's why...

  1. The song was released in 1984. The greatest year in the history of time! All the most influential and awesome people were born in 1984. Take for example Delta Goodrem...we thought that would shut you up.
  2. He goes out in the evening and comes home in the morning. He ain't nothing but tired. Bruce..OMG...YOU'RE RIGHT! We're tired too, when we stay out all night. Perhaps Bruce is nurse who works night duty?? Yes, we're sure that's it.
  3. He has clearly studied the fire triangle and/or studied chemistry, because after much research we discovered that you really CAN'T start a fire without a spark. Wow!
  4. Bruce states with certainty that "Something is happening somewhere". Again how does he know this??? There are people everywhere and they ARE doing SOMETHING! Bruce, please continue.
  5. He says, you got to stay hungry. We tried this by not eating today, Bruce was right...we are just about starving tonight. He's like a doctor. A doctor of life.
  6. Bruce advises that you can't start a fire, whilst you're sitting around crying over a broken heart. You mean water and fire together don't mix??? We're shocked, that explains SO MUCH! We have been trying to light fires for years but we thought the water was meant to go on when trying to light it, not put it out. DUH!

So there you have it. Bruce Springsteen is a GENIUS!

However A&F would like to make a safety announcement...

Dancing in the dark can be very dangerous. Particularly around stairs, open windows, criminals and people trying to hire guns (there is something shifty about not wanting to own a gun outright, it's also very un-American).

Enjoy learning kids...


"Dancing in the Dark"??


Actually dancing in the dark??


Religious Education

Happily, I wasn’t forced to attend this in primary school. Thank you, Atheist Parents! However, this post is not about learning about Jesus Christ and his awesome magic skillz. It’s about….


Okay, so hands up who knows what it is? A Church (It is called the CHURCH of Scientology, after all…)? No. Wrong.
A Cult? Maybe. The best business idea ever? Fucking spot on.

I could not have less of a belief system if I tried. As Carrie says in SATC, I was raised in the Church of being nice people, etc. Only I got kicked out of that as well, but never matter.
However, I don’t begrudge others of theirs. Until it effects me. And then I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! (Ezekial 25:17).
Sure, that passage is from Pulp Fiction and doesn’t exist in the actual Bible (Yes, I checked), but you’re picking up what I’m putting down, oui?

ANYHOO, Scientologists. Do you want to know what they believe? It’s so hilarious I don’t even know where to begin.
Basically, it goes a little something like this:

1) Galactic Overlord named Xenu
2) Decided his planet was overpopulated. Shipped people in pods to earth and put them in volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs.
3) Had a net over the earth, caught the souls of these people.
4) Those souls now infect us, basically causing all the bad things in our life. They are called ‘Thetans’. But never matter, with an official Scientology Audit you can rid yourself of your thetans. TREMENDOUS. Sign me up (to any Scientologists reading, please note the sarcasm).

BUT here’s the funny bit. You don’t learn all that until you’re up to the highest levels of Scientology. At which point you’ll have parted with many hundreds of thousands of dollars and many hours of your time. So I totally understand why people get stuck in Scientology. Because how embarrassing to get to that stage and go “Oh…that's what I'm meant to believe? And I’ve paid you how much? Ahhhhh....shit.” Some of the original Scientology papers state that if you learn this before you reach these higher levels, you WILL DIE. Sorry guys, looks like I’ve just cursed you all to an early death. I should have put a spoiler alert.

But look, now that you know that, also know this: Scientology was founded by a CRAZY chap called L.Ron Hubbard.

Just look at him! If he's not the definition of creepy, I don't know what is! Who would follow a religion started by this man?! He's wearing a cravat, for God's sake! A CRAVAT. For a man who's a bit loose in the jowl-region, he should consider some other form of neck-wear. That goes for you too, Matt Preston. I know you're reading this. You can thank me later.

Mr Hubbard was a sci-fi writer (wow, the story about a Galactic Overlord called Xenu must have been a bit of a stretch for you to develop!).
He also once said this
“The only way to get rich in this world is to start a religion.”
Wh…ho….I don’t….understand…..?
After knowing this, how can anyone POSSIBLY even consider Scientology as anything but an awesome plan to prey on the weak minded?!
I’m not-so-secretly pissed off I didn’t think of it first.

So next time someone on the street asks you whether you’d like to participate in a free personality quiz, tell ‘em Xenu sent you!
And the stupid and weak-minded amongst us, part with your hard earned cash and enjoy your air diet. That’s what I call natural selection.
(For those of you wanting to learn more about the hilarity of Scientology, I suggest this site: http://www.clambake.org/)

Natural Selection: AWESOME
Scientology: FLAWSOME
Our new religion called KateAlliology, now recruiting, $10,000 entry fee only!: TOTALLY AWESOME

Monday, August 24, 2009


So yesterday we here at A&F discovered some very exciting news...FLEETWOOD MAC ARE TOURING!

We LOVE Fleetwood Mac! Not only are their songs all time greats but the legend behind this band is so twisted. It's like The Bold and the Beautiful, without the bad acting, "fashion" shows, disturbing old people making out and self-righteous old women in unflattering pant-suits.

When the group started there were 2 couples John & Christine McVie and Lindsey Buckingham & Stevie Nicks. Mick Fleetwood (who after watching the video below, we now believe to be one of the coolest dudes EVER) was not involved with any of them, however had the honour of watching both relationships disintegrate (as most inevitably do).

We've always loved "Go your own way", but loved it even more when we learnt the story behind it.

Lindsey Buckingham wrote it about Stevie Nicks. When their relationship came to an ugly end, he wrote this song...on which she was forced to sing backing vocals (THAT'S SOME COLD SHIT!)

Lindsey always thought Stevie was cheating on him, something she has steadfastly denied. The line "Packing up, shaking up's all you want to do" is a dig at Nicks, she asked him to take it out of the song...he refused.

We won't go into the band's other dramas...let's just say, they are one fucked up group of people...that's one of the many reasons we love them.

So below is a live performance of the song...we're sorry about the penguin but it's best just to go with it (it was the 70s after all)

So "Go Your Own Way"?
Fleetwood Mac touring?
That weird penguin thing Stevie Nicks is playing with in the video??

Friday, August 21, 2009


So to help me pick today's song, I decided to consult a higher power...my IPhone. The IPhone is good. The IPhone is wise. The IPhone has a shuffle feature which picked a song for me, saving me from actually having to use my brain.

So what did the mystical, all powerful IPhone choose???

"Dangerous" by Roxette

Clearly my IPhone is a fan of 80s music and bad 80s hair, but I'm not here to judge. I couldn't judge even if I wanted to. The IPhone is better than me and I know it. It's smarter, hipper, thinner, prettier, cooler, nicer, more popular and it doesn't even have a personality...OR A BODY! But let's leave my inferiority complex for another time...this is a happy place for happy thoughts.

I really love this song and I REALLY love the hilarious video!

So IPhone?




Wednesday, August 19, 2009


"Cold as Ice" by Foreigner

So I have a totally awesome sister, her name is Heather. My sister and I are fairly similar except for two small differences. While I (Alli) am a sooky-la-la who has been known to cry at Neighbours, Heather is a tough nut. I can count on 2 hands the number of times I have seen my sister cry, sadly I don't think Heathie can say the same. In fact I think she would need some kind of giant scroll, but I digress...

This song always reminds me of Heather, I think of it as her anthem. Her anthem of coldness. I often sing it to her. Just kidding...kind of. She is great...most of the time.

Anyway enjoy


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Kate and Alli's Adventures in Stupidity Part 2

There are times in our lives, when we all make mistakes. If we're smart, we learn from these mistakes and don't repeat them...unfortunately Alli is not smart, neither is Kate.
After "seeing" (by that I mean peering through our fingers) Drag Me To Hell, I remember us saying the following...
Kate "Why do we do this to ourselves???"
Alli "I don't know, but NEVER again"
Well tragically for us, Past Kate is a moron and Past Alli is a dirty liar. We did do it again. We went to see Orphan.
You know what's stupid? Knowing you are a massive sooky-la-la, standing outside the cinema saying "This is a giant mistake" AND STILL GOING IN!
Future Alli & Kate (who we imagine are brilliant, rich, beautiful and awesome), we implore you...NO MORE SCARY MOVIES. You can't handle it. It will always end with regret, you running to your car and having nightmares...you know this...BE SMARTER!
Now, onto the movie...
Well let's start with a big WTF!!!!!!
That movie was truly fucked up! At one point Kate was curled into a ball and Alli had her hands over her face and eyes closed for a good 5 minutes straight! In the same way Drag Me To Hell made wind scary, Orphan succeeded in turning everyday things into instruments of horror.
  1. You know what's terrifying...Fridge Doors! Every time someone is looking in a fridge, you know when they close it, some freaky shit is going to be standing there (you know how we feel about standing).
  2. It destroyed Glory of Love! The song that usually reminds us of Bette in Beaches, is now the devils song! However at least there wasn't any carousel music...you know shit is about to go down, when that starts playing
  3. Those of you who went to Ferny Grove Primary will remember fondly our Adventure Playground. Well those happy childhood memories are OVER! Now it's just a place full of little hidey-holes for crazy, devil children to jump out AND FUCK YOU UP!
  4. Iphones. Regular visitors to our site will know how much we love our Iphones. Well this stupid movie had to go and destroy that! Alli has had to change her screen icon and ringtone...thanks Orphan, that's 30 seconds of her life she'll never get back
  5. There are a lot of tools in this movie (no we don't mean tools of the Rebecca Wilson type, though THAT would be scary. We mean actual tools). At first we gave Esther the benefit of the doubt. We tried to believe the following...

Maybe she is just taking that hammer to do some repairs for the family?

Maybe she is just going to use that screw driver to make a cake?

Maybe she is putting her arm in that vice to earn some money to buy the mum flowers?

Let's just say that in trying to believe the best, we were wrong....VERY WRONG!

When we left the cinema, already traumatised, it was windy. Drag Me To Hell windy. Alli had to run from her car to her house, whilst Kate was scared by a soccer ball (we're sure it had evil intentions...it was carrying an Iphone after all).

The lesson here people, is simple and for the next week (if that) it shall be our motto here at A&F....


So, in closing...

Not being insightful enough to learn from your own mistakes???



I don't even know the words to this song. But it really, really does not stop me singing along to it.

In my opinion, it's the ultimate pub song, the kind everyone on the dance floor is singing (or just shouting, really) to...and then busting some awesome moves to! As soon as I hear those first bars of music, I am grabbing anyone within, well, grabbing distance and dragging them to the dance floor, post haste!

And if Dexy's Midnight Runners isn't the best band name ever, I don't know what is.



Come On Eileen?


Monday, August 17, 2009

"You know we're living in a SOCIETY!"

Yep, it's time for one those posts.

I hold the door open for people. All the time. I think it's the polite (and right) thing to do.
You know what ELSE is polite? Saying thank you.
I was at the movies the other day (seeing Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince for the second time, thank you very much. I honestly don't think I could be any cooler if I tried) Anyway, I was going to the bathroom and there was a mother and a small child making their way out. So, of course, I hold the door for them.
For ages too, as the random toddler was walking like, well, a toddler and blah, blah, blah, I practically missed the movie holding the door for them.

But THEN....no thanks! This is a major pet peeve of mine (really, Kate, we didn't pick that up based on the fact that you're devoting multiple paragraphs of text to it). So, of course I say loudly anyway "You're welcome!". Point made.

Is it impolite to point out when people are being impolite? Probably. But otherwise they'll never learn. And look, I'd like to think that the next time someone holds the door for that woman, she'd say thank you. I think I've made the world a better place. You're welcome, universe.

People with poor manners?


The 2009 Flawsome List (celebrity edition)

When we first started A&F, we brought you the 2009 Awesome List (celebrity edition). Now it is time to bring you it's twin...it's evil, evil twin.

Essentially, the inclusion criteria for this list is as follows

  1. You must be a "celebrity". This means you must have been featured in NW magazine, at some stage.
  2. You must be a tool, arrogant, drug-fucked, trashy, a dirty smoker and/or untalented
  3. You can, but don't need to be an over-the-top feminist
  4. You should be overly opinionated. These opinions need to be poorly supported and even more poorly expressed (this usually involves yelling, walking off and/or hanging up on people)

So now that you know what it takes, here it is....IT IS GLORIOUS!

Rebecca Wilson (Were you personally involved in the Matt Johns scandal? No? Are you also bitter about your absolute FAIL on the Footy Show? YES. So shut the hell up)

Germaine Greer (Just because you are ‘outspoken’ doesn’t make you right. Shut up)

Lady Gaga (See earlier post)

Perez Hilton (Now, not a year ago – got too famous to run your own site)

Agyness Deyn (Or whatever the hell her name is. Stumbling around drunk or high putting on whatever happens to be on the ground, does not make you a style icon...go to rehab!)

Lara Bingle (So, you were in an ad once? And now you’re engaged to a Cricketer? Remind me again why you’re famous)

Kate Moss (Mmm – drug addled! My favourite kind of model)

Christian Bale (What he says is hilarious...not awesome)

Evan Rachel Wood (Homewrecker)

Marilyn Manson (Oh, please. It’s almost TOO easy)

Sienna Miller (see Evan Rachel Wood)

Lara Bingle (Yes, she’s on here twice. She’s THAT annoying and pointless)

Anna Wintour (We’ve seen the Devil Wears Prada)

Camilla (How…*turkey slap*)
Labrat (Did…*turkey slap*)
Stav (you get on radio? *turkey slap*) oh and all 3 of you, GOTCHA CALLS ARE NOT FUNNY!

Kyle Sandilands (How did YOU get on radio? Unintelligent, vile, creature who perhaps should be shot like a rabid dog).

And Jackie O (Just because she’s associated with the above!)

Gracie Otto (for dating Matthew Newton, after he was charged with beating his previous girlfriend...NOT SMART)

Matthew Newton (Beating women and then starring on a hit television series? How did you swing that one? Pun intended!)

Sean Penn (Takes himself a little too seriously)

Andre Leon Tally (Why do you work at Vogue? You tacky, label-obsessed, tasteless freak!)

Heidi Montag (You married Spencer Pratt)

Spencer Pratt (You married Heidi Montag)

Mischa Barton (Put down the crack pipe honey!)

Lindsay Lohan (You broke our hearts! Why did you have to start out so awesome?! It would have been better if you had just sucked from the beginning)

Kristin Stewart (Blinking erratically...is not acting! Also DROP THE ATTITUDE, remind me again what you have to be surly about???)

Kimberly Stewart (Your father is famous, you are not. Please go away and cut your stripper hair)

Paris Hilton (Vile)

Jordan aka Katie Price (Even more vile)

Samantha Ronson (Riiiiiiiiiiight you're a "DJ")

Kevin Federline (White guys rapping...not cool. You are not Eminem. Oh also STAY AWAY FROM BRITNEY)

Joe Jackson (Promoting your "record label" 2 days after your son/meal ticket dies...classy)

Amy Winehouse (We don't even know where to start)

Bai Ling (You have heard of clothes, right?)

Isabel Lucas (You belong in a caravan park. Possibly with bongos)

Lady Sovereign (How dare you do that to an eighties classic. You are NOT forgiven)

Phoebe Price

Scarlett Johannson (You married Ryan Reynolds. That’s reason one)

Lisa Rinna (Step away from the collagen)

Rumer Willis (Your parents are famous, you are not...please go away)

Phil Gould (Only when he’s coaching/talking about NSW. Otherwise some of his comment are totally valid, for someone who so closely resembles a toad).

David Reyne (You were in a crappy band from the 80s. You now host a truly awful morning show, in which you think your musical taste is refined and highbrow...PLEASE SHUT UP)

Marcia Hines (You have lived in Australia since the 60s. We find it very hard to believe that you haven't even picked up a hint of Aussie accent...that's right we're saying your American accent is slightly bunged on)

Mickey Rourke (For the LOVE OF GOD put a shirt on!)

Denise Richards (See Mickey Rourke)

Hayden Panetteire (You think you’re so darn good, just because you harp on about protecting Dolphins? You know what – how about donating some of your hundreds of thousands of dollars? I think that would be more helpful)

Audrina Patridge (Meet my eyeline, Audrina!)

Tara Reid (Shudder)

This list is able to grow at any time.

Having to accept that these "people" breathe the same air as us: FLAWSOME

Having our own blog in which to berate them: AWESOME

That's all.