Monday, December 7, 2009

Bah! Humbug!

You know, I get where this guy is coming from...

This guy, he had the right idea. Poor bastard just couldn't escape the pressure of all the poor and boring people that kept bothering him...

Poor Bill Murray he was just a guy trying to get his job done. So, he wasn't really into Christmas...does that means he deserved to be haunted by 3 (very unattractive) ghosts?

I'm just going to put it out there...I (Alli) hate Christmas.

It hasn't always been that way. I, like every child loved it when I was growing up. I should also say that I have always been incredibly spoilt by the people in my life when it comes to presents (I'm looking at you mum!) I truly appreciate this generosity and thoughtfulness and I enjoy buying gifts for people in return.

The exchanging of gifts with people is not my issue with Christmas. Nor do I dislike how commercial it's become, to be honest I adore how commercial it's become. YAY Capitalism!

My issue is everything else! I'll give you a list (you know how I enjoy those):

  1. The forced socialising! If I like you, I'll spend time with you, if I don't, I won''s as simple as that. Yet at this time of year, you are expected to speak to every member of your family. This includes people you haven't spoken to years, have zero in common with and less than nothing to talk about, but it's Christmas so you're guilted into it!

  2. The rabid mobs of idiots that descend upon every major shopping center. Chermside during that 36 hour trading thing...I think that's what hell must be like. People walking too slowly, stopping in the middle of walkways, stroller-pushers thinking they have the right to do whatever they like and people seemingly forgetting that you have to pay for goods, then fumbling for money at the register! It's the general slowness of EVERYTHING that pisses me off.

  3. The decorating of trees. This takes far too long, is far too messy and is the most annoying thing to take down. In the wise words of The Lonely Island "FUCK TREES"! Right on boys, perhaps I'll decorate a buoy instead.

  4. The heat! It's no secret that I hate the heat, perhaps I would enjoy Christmas more if it was snowing. Now with global warming this may happen in Brisbane one day soon (yet another reason I do very little to help the environment). Where's your Christmas spirit now Al Gore!

  5. Cheesy televised Christmas Carols. Let me say that I don't have an issue with the carols themselves, in fact I love to hear a bit of The Little Drummer Boy. My issue is the mass choirs they have at the back of these things! Oh god, the cheeseball, overly enthusiastic facial expressions. The coordinated hand gestures. The monk like robes! Just awful.

Now I'm not a bad person, I don't hate everything Christmas related. Here's a few of the things I love about Christmas...

  1. A Muppet Christmas Carol. Michael Caine and Muppets! That's a winning combo! It is awesome and I love it!
  2. Scrooged. You know I love Bill Murray and it is a truly hilarious movie!
  3. Love Actually. The genius of Richard Curtis. This movie is as close to perfect as it gets.
  4. Home Alone 1&2. LOVE THEM! They are truly hilarious.
  5. Jingle All The Way. Arnie, in a Christmas movie? YES PLEASE! It also has Sinbad..."This is a sick world we live in, with sick people!
  6. The Santa Clause. Tim Allen GOLD
  7. Elf. "It's Santa, it's Santa! I know him I KNOW HIM"
  8. All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey. Freaking awesome!!
  9. Last Christmas by Wham (check out the Glee cast version too!) Love it!!!
  10. Chocolate covered Almonds
  11. Candy Canes
  12. Spending time with the family and friends I do love
  13. Seeing people really enjoy the gift I gave them

Visitors to this site will know of my undying love for Seinfeld. I always watch an episode called "The Strike" at this time of year. In this perfect episode Frank Costanza introduces us to Festivus. Frank hates Christmas and Festivus is what he created to take it's place...

My favourite part is the airing of grievances...I can get on board with that. I've got a lot of problems with you people!




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