Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Which bank? Oh, that one celebrating 100 years of SUCKING

Let me tell you a tale. A tale of poor customer service, of which I have had absolutely enough. Okay, to be fair, this really is a straight up whinge. You know what they say, when you have a bad experience you tell 10 people. Well, I hope more than 10 people read this.

This tale involves my partner (let’s call him Josh, as that is his name), a bank (let’s call them a bunch of assholes. Or Commonwealth, as they’re also known) and an overseas trip.

There we were, gallivanting around Europe, putting all our money onto a Commonwealth Travel Card and enjoying our holiday. Then, BEHOLD! A spanner in the works. We tried to withdraw 400 Euro at an ATM in Rome, using our card, which, according to Commonwealth’s advertising is a:

“…safe, convenient and simple way to access your money overseas”


Well, the money did not come out and the ATM said something about a link failure, so we tried again. Alas, same message, same no money.

I tried my card (BankWest – owned by Commonwealth but clearly less retarded). Same error message, same no money.

We get back to our hotel, and check the balances on our cards. Mine was fine. However, the 800 Euro (from our two attempts) on the travel card was gone!

We immediately called CBA, only to be told there was nothing we could do except fill out a form. Oh, a PDF that we can fill out online? No, of course not. Get form, send to reception to print. Fill out. Back to reception. Try to fax form. Try to fax form again. Wait till next hotel. Try to fax form again.

This is difficult when the reception staff don’t speak great English.

Look, I get that annoying things like this happen on holiday. But what really makes this incident FLAWSOME was CBA’s attitude.

The staff Josh spoke to could not have been less helpful and more condescending.

Not only did they take our money, but we were informed it could take up to 60 days to get our money back. Well that’s completely helpful, obviously, especially when we’re overseas.

Then, there was the way they not-so-subtly suggested that we could have been lying about the cash. It’s always good when your bank works off the assumption that you’re probably trying to steal from them.

The most helpful advice they could offer us?

“I don’t know – why don’t you borrow the money from friends or something?”.

This, accompanied by “We’re doing everything we can to help you.” GAH! Why do people in the service industry think saying that is a ‘Get out of jail free’ line?

You’re not helping at all, let alone ‘doing everything you can’.

You are doing, in fact, nothing.

Actually, I will correct myself – they were doing something: passing the buck to MasterCard, who ‘own’ the product. That may be the case. However, CBA, you SOLD it to us, it has YOUR logo on it as well…you see where I’m going with this.

How about this, CBA – why don’t YOU lend us the money? You, who have f*#ked us over. You, who Josh has been a customer of for some 15 odd years.

Thankfully we had other money in different accounts, so our holiday wasn’t disrupted too much. And eventually we got the money back (SHOCK! HORROR! Turns out we AREN’T thieves!), but quite frankly, the whole incident has left a very bad taste in our mouths with regard to CBA. And, needless to say, we didn't get back the $160 we spent on phone bills trying to sort out the matter.

As such:

Commonwealth Bank of Australia?


Monday, January 2, 2012

Occupy 2012!

Well, to say we've been rather....what's the word....forgetful? Distracted? No, that's not right. Oh, I know what it is - lazy. Yep, that's the one. Lazy.
To say we've been rather lazy is kind. We haven't done anything. For almost two years. And that, my friends, is shameful.
You might think that we've gotten calmer in our older age, maybe matured a little bit. If you thought that, then you are a fool. We are just as mad at the stupidity of the world as ever. And to that end, I would like to go on to introduce the topic of this post: The 'Occupy' Protestors, one of major causes of rage for me in 2011.


Okay, so it started in New York, where I guess a few people can legitimately have claimed to have lost their jobs to financial mismanagement, etcetera. But then to have it spread all over the world the way it did? Half those hippy freaks didn't even know what the hell they were protesting. Not one protestor I heard could actually articulate what they were doing and why they were there.
"Um, we're protesting the MAN, man!"
"The economy!"
"Big business!"
And then to add the stupidity of the general protest, it's how they did it. Sit in a park. REALLY?! That's your big idea?! That's what I do for picnics, buddy, not when I want to change the world.
They appear to have achieved exactly nothing. Why? Because hippies, by nature, aren't an organised people. They appeared to have no agenda, no actual plan, and no idea.
"So, what do you want to achieve here?"
"What sort of change?"
*awkward pause* "The good kind?"

Let's look at this guy, for example. He was an Occupy Adelaide protestor.

Let's be honest, mate, you'd join any peaceful protest happening quicker than you could say
"Hey mate, are you going to share that weed?"

I don't know if perhaps they had some ideal that perhaps we'd revert to a bartering society? I guess they'd have to protest that eventually too, because it's tough to barter when you have no skills that anybody wants. No, thanks, I'll pass on your hand-woven hemp undies.
Maybe they were looking more towards Communism as the way of the future? Bad news, hippies. That's been tried and, I gotta be honest, it hasn't always worked so well. You may think there's not, but guess what - there are always better animals* (*George Orwell reference to make me sound smart!).

I think the funniest thing I saw was in Amsterdam, where there was a 'Occupy Amsterdam' protest going on (the fact there was one there at all is hilarious enough). Anyway, they had a banner with a 'Sponsored by' message and then logos from all the big European banks. Then, somebody had spray painted on it "THIS IS IRONY". Hippies, if you have to EXPLAIN to people that it's irony, then you have failed in making it ironic.

Anyway, welcome to 2012. Now let's all go back to worshipping the almighty dollar. HUZZAH for capitalism!

So, 'Occupy' protestors of 2011?


Friday, January 29, 2010

And we're back!

Okay, so we here at A & F have been on a bit of a self-imposed hiatus. SOME of us have been traipsing around the globe, some of us have been watching far too much 30 Rock (if indeed there is such a thing). So, for the lack of posts you can blame Allison. I know I do.

Anyway, a New Year, a new thing to vent about:
Okay, not so much babies, but THESE:

Oh God, how I hate them.
My thought process when I see them goes something like this:
" have a BABY! Lucky you had that sign, I guess I shouldn't intentionally ram you like I do to most other cars."
No. That's a lie. I never, ever have that thought process.
I have this little thing, where, generally, I'm pretty careful when I'm driving, because, oh, I don't know, I don't want to die.

Seeing that sign does not make me drive more carefully. It makes me full of rage, which probably negatively effects my driving.
I think people realise that it does nothing, surely? That's why accidents are called accidents, them being not deliberate and all.

Which brings me to the quesiton: Why do these signs exist?

Here's my thoughts: They are put up by the kind of women/people that seem to think giving birth is an achievement. Newflash: It's not! Almost 50% of the population is capable.
I bet these cars that have 'Baby on Board' signs are the same cars, that, in 15 years time, have those "(Insert Private School Name) (Insert one of Rowing/Rugby)". Wow! Your child participates in a thing! Congratulations, you produced an average human being. Good for you.

And those Pram Only spots in shopping centre car parks? Oh my God. Really? I don't know when that became a thing, but that's a whole other post.

Anyway - Baby on Board signs on cars and the drippy parents that put them there?


Welcome to 2010, people.
I love it already.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

SONG OF THE DAY - A year in review

Before we give you today's song, let's take a look back at the tunes that made the grade this year.

  1. Don't Stop Believing by Journey

  2. 22 by Lily Allen

  3. Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks

  4. On Tour by Bliss n Eso

  5. Switch by Will Smith

  6. Fascination by Alphabeat

  7. Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners

  8. Cold as Ice by Foreinger

  9. Dangerous by Roxette

  10. Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac

  11. Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen

  12. Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis

  13. Only The Good Die Young by Billy Joel

  14. Absolutely Fabulous by The Pet Shop Boys

  15. I like you better when you're not around by Kate Miller Heidke

  16. You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates

  17. I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness

  18. Bulletproof by La Roux

  19. Here It Goes Again by OK Go

  20. You can call me Al by Paul Simon

  21. Canned Heat by Jamiroquai

  22. Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

  23. Womanizer by Britney Spears

  24. Words by Kate Miller Heidke

  25. Politics in Space by Kate Miller Heidke

  26. The Last Day On Earth by Kate Miller Heidke

  27. Proud Mary by CCR & later Tina Turner

  28. Telephone by Lady Gaga & Beyonce

  29. Speechless by Lady Gaga

  30. What a Fool Believes by The Doobie Brothers

  31. My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

  32. You Are The Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne

  33. Run This Town by Jay-Z, featuring Rhianna and Kanye West

That's quite a list, if we do say so ourselves (and we just did).

Now onto today's entry...

Well it's almost Christmas, so we here at A&F are giving you the greatest holiday song EVER...

All I Want for Christmas is You by the incredible Mariah Carey

You can say what you want about Mariah, but you can't deny that this is a fabulous song and she has an amazing set of pipes! She also wrote and produced it, so you have to give her credit for that.

For those of you, who are Love Actually fanatics, like Kate and is the version of the song from the movie...

Side awesome is it having Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant and Liam Neeson in one movie?! FREAKING AWESOME!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Some people are better than you...and that's ok

Hot damn, I LOVES ME SOME JAY-Z! He is awesome! Reformed crack dealer, now music mogul, worth hundreds of millions of dollars, married to a completely phenomenal chick! That's moving up in the world, I don't care where you're from.

Is it just me, or do he and Beyonce seem to be living the dream? He's fabulous and she is truly from another world. Just look at them...

They're just so cool, so talented, so gorgeous...don't you just hate them...NO YOU DON'T, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

J and B (that's what they call each other) are better than you, they are better me and you know what...that's OK.

Ben Lee has a song called "What would Jay Z do?", it's pretty much just about how awesome he is (I can totally get on board with that). Here it is...

Here's what I'm loving about J and B the most (for the next day or so anyway)...

"Run This Town". Anyone will who went to the Britney concert recently, will remember how awesome this song was to finish the countdown!

"Empire State of Mind"

"03 Bonnie & Clyde"

and the one that started it all, the awesomeness that is "Crazy in Love"

So they are fabulous, they are far more fabulous than deal with it!

Beyonce and Jay Z???


Monday, December 14, 2009


You Are The Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne

How fabulous is Ray Lamontagne? He is like a modern day John Fogerty, all bearded and awesome!

This is Ray's best song in my (always correct) opinion.


Ray Lamontagne?


Monday, December 7, 2009



Here at A&F we love our pop music! We aren't indy, we aren't emo and we certainly aren't heavy metal...We are pop and we love it!!

With that said, I will tell that I just adore Kelly Clarkson. I think she is fabulous, with a truly amazing set of pipes! My sister Heathie and I are off to see Kelly next year, when she tours and we are EXCITED!

I love that she seems like a normal girl. She freely admits her promo shots (like the one above) are air-brushed to hell and that in reality she looks nothing like that.

She's funny, I've heard her on Hamish and Andy several times and she was awesome!

Here's a brief selection of some great Kelly songs...

Since You've Been Gone...

My Life Would Suck Without You...

this is the Glee version of the song...

Because Of You (who doesn't love a good, depressing song)

Don't Waste Your Time...

Already Gone...(live and amazing)

Who doesn't love an angry chick song? Let's be honest ladies we all need them once and a while, right? RIGHT!

So Kelly Clarkson??