Monday, August 17, 2009

The 2009 Flawsome List (celebrity edition)

When we first started A&F, we brought you the 2009 Awesome List (celebrity edition). Now it is time to bring you it's's evil, evil twin.

Essentially, the inclusion criteria for this list is as follows

  1. You must be a "celebrity". This means you must have been featured in NW magazine, at some stage.
  2. You must be a tool, arrogant, drug-fucked, trashy, a dirty smoker and/or untalented
  3. You can, but don't need to be an over-the-top feminist
  4. You should be overly opinionated. These opinions need to be poorly supported and even more poorly expressed (this usually involves yelling, walking off and/or hanging up on people)

So now that you know what it takes, here it is....IT IS GLORIOUS!

Rebecca Wilson (Were you personally involved in the Matt Johns scandal? No? Are you also bitter about your absolute FAIL on the Footy Show? YES. So shut the hell up)

Germaine Greer (Just because you are ‘outspoken’ doesn’t make you right. Shut up)

Lady Gaga (See earlier post)

Perez Hilton (Now, not a year ago – got too famous to run your own site)

Agyness Deyn (Or whatever the hell her name is. Stumbling around drunk or high putting on whatever happens to be on the ground, does not make you a style icon...go to rehab!)

Lara Bingle (So, you were in an ad once? And now you’re engaged to a Cricketer? Remind me again why you’re famous)

Kate Moss (Mmm – drug addled! My favourite kind of model)

Christian Bale (What he says is hilarious...not awesome)

Evan Rachel Wood (Homewrecker)

Marilyn Manson (Oh, please. It’s almost TOO easy)

Sienna Miller (see Evan Rachel Wood)

Lara Bingle (Yes, she’s on here twice. She’s THAT annoying and pointless)

Anna Wintour (We’ve seen the Devil Wears Prada)

Camilla (How…*turkey slap*)
Labrat (Did…*turkey slap*)
Stav (you get on radio? *turkey slap*) oh and all 3 of you, GOTCHA CALLS ARE NOT FUNNY!

Kyle Sandilands (How did YOU get on radio? Unintelligent, vile, creature who perhaps should be shot like a rabid dog).

And Jackie O (Just because she’s associated with the above!)

Gracie Otto (for dating Matthew Newton, after he was charged with beating his previous girlfriend...NOT SMART)

Matthew Newton (Beating women and then starring on a hit television series? How did you swing that one? Pun intended!)

Sean Penn (Takes himself a little too seriously)

Andre Leon Tally (Why do you work at Vogue? You tacky, label-obsessed, tasteless freak!)

Heidi Montag (You married Spencer Pratt)

Spencer Pratt (You married Heidi Montag)

Mischa Barton (Put down the crack pipe honey!)

Lindsay Lohan (You broke our hearts! Why did you have to start out so awesome?! It would have been better if you had just sucked from the beginning)

Kristin Stewart (Blinking not acting! Also DROP THE ATTITUDE, remind me again what you have to be surly about???)

Kimberly Stewart (Your father is famous, you are not. Please go away and cut your stripper hair)

Paris Hilton (Vile)

Jordan aka Katie Price (Even more vile)

Samantha Ronson (Riiiiiiiiiiight you're a "DJ")

Kevin Federline (White guys rapping...not cool. You are not Eminem. Oh also STAY AWAY FROM BRITNEY)

Joe Jackson (Promoting your "record label" 2 days after your son/meal ticket dies...classy)

Amy Winehouse (We don't even know where to start)

Bai Ling (You have heard of clothes, right?)

Isabel Lucas (You belong in a caravan park. Possibly with bongos)

Lady Sovereign (How dare you do that to an eighties classic. You are NOT forgiven)

Phoebe Price

Scarlett Johannson (You married Ryan Reynolds. That’s reason one)

Lisa Rinna (Step away from the collagen)

Rumer Willis (Your parents are famous, you are not...please go away)

Phil Gould (Only when he’s coaching/talking about NSW. Otherwise some of his comment are totally valid, for someone who so closely resembles a toad).

David Reyne (You were in a crappy band from the 80s. You now host a truly awful morning show, in which you think your musical taste is refined and highbrow...PLEASE SHUT UP)

Marcia Hines (You have lived in Australia since the 60s. We find it very hard to believe that you haven't even picked up a hint of Aussie accent...that's right we're saying your American accent is slightly bunged on)

Mickey Rourke (For the LOVE OF GOD put a shirt on!)

Denise Richards (See Mickey Rourke)

Hayden Panetteire (You think you’re so darn good, just because you harp on about protecting Dolphins? You know what – how about donating some of your hundreds of thousands of dollars? I think that would be more helpful)

Audrina Patridge (Meet my eyeline, Audrina!)

Tara Reid (Shudder)

This list is able to grow at any time.

Having to accept that these "people" breathe the same air as us: FLAWSOME

Having our own blog in which to berate them: AWESOME

That's all.

1 comment:

  1. I agree with the above, but think that Lily Allen should have gotten a mention. That is all....