Monday, January 2, 2012

Occupy 2012!

Well, to say we've been rather....what's the word....forgetful? Distracted? No, that's not right. Oh, I know what it is - lazy. Yep, that's the one. Lazy.
To say we've been rather lazy is kind. We haven't done anything. For almost two years. And that, my friends, is shameful.
You might think that we've gotten calmer in our older age, maybe matured a little bit. If you thought that, then you are a fool. We are just as mad at the stupidity of the world as ever. And to that end, I would like to go on to introduce the topic of this post: The 'Occupy' Protestors, one of major causes of rage for me in 2011.


Okay, so it started in New York, where I guess a few people can legitimately have claimed to have lost their jobs to financial mismanagement, etcetera. But then to have it spread all over the world the way it did? Half those hippy freaks didn't even know what the hell they were protesting. Not one protestor I heard could actually articulate what they were doing and why they were there.
"Um, we're protesting the MAN, man!"
"The economy!"
"Big business!"
And then to add the stupidity of the general protest, it's how they did it. Sit in a park. REALLY?! That's your big idea?! That's what I do for picnics, buddy, not when I want to change the world.
They appear to have achieved exactly nothing. Why? Because hippies, by nature, aren't an organised people. They appeared to have no agenda, no actual plan, and no idea.
"So, what do you want to achieve here?"
"What sort of change?"
*awkward pause* "The good kind?"

Let's look at this guy, for example. He was an Occupy Adelaide protestor.

Let's be honest, mate, you'd join any peaceful protest happening quicker than you could say
"Hey mate, are you going to share that weed?"

I don't know if perhaps they had some ideal that perhaps we'd revert to a bartering society? I guess they'd have to protest that eventually too, because it's tough to barter when you have no skills that anybody wants. No, thanks, I'll pass on your hand-woven hemp undies.
Maybe they were looking more towards Communism as the way of the future? Bad news, hippies. That's been tried and, I gotta be honest, it hasn't always worked so well. You may think there's not, but guess what - there are always better animals* (*George Orwell reference to make me sound smart!).

I think the funniest thing I saw was in Amsterdam, where there was a 'Occupy Amsterdam' protest going on (the fact there was one there at all is hilarious enough). Anyway, they had a banner with a 'Sponsored by' message and then logos from all the big European banks. Then, somebody had spray painted on it "THIS IS IRONY". Hippies, if you have to EXPLAIN to people that it's irony, then you have failed in making it ironic.

Anyway, welcome to 2012. Now let's all go back to worshipping the almighty dollar. HUZZAH for capitalism!

So, 'Occupy' protestors of 2011?


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