Back off!

I buy awesome lunches. I am very rarely organised enough to plan for my lunches during the week, so I tend to make use of the numerous cafes/restaurants/sandwich shops in the South Brisbane area.

And I'm not afraid to buy tasty food. I openly admit it. My food may not nearly be as healthy as some of my work colleagues, but damnit it's tasty and if I have to carry a bit more cellulite because of it, then damn it, I will! I love my food. In fact, I just love food full stop. Mine or anyone elses.

Which brings me to the rant - you like the look of my food? You know what? BUY IT YOURSELF! I rarely buy my food from a location that is more than 100m away from our offices. But, guaranteed, each time I bring it back to the office there is undoubtedly AT LEAST five people who'll look at my food, comment 'Well, gee...that looks nice'. And then pause, looking at it, and looking at me.
What's that? You want me to offer you some? HELL NO, BITCHES.
I have no problem sharing food, at all. But don't try to be all subtle about it. Come to me, say, hey, that looks awesome, can I have a chip/wedge/taste/chicken leg/shoulder of ham? Do not stare at it, and me, drooling, until I begrudgingly offer you some. We're wasting time, people. Ask for it, I won't be offended and let's face it, I'm generally too polite to say no. Plus, I'd do the same to you.

Or, better yet, stop your denial and say I LOVE FOOD, TOO and buy your own damn wedges.

Decision?

My lunches: AWESOME

You lusting after my food: FLAWSOME