Awesome and Flawsome

Which bank? Oh, that one celebrating 100 years of SUCKING

2012-01-11T20:49:00.010+10:00

Let me tell you a tale. A tale of poor customer service, of which I have had absolutely enough. Okay, to be fair, this really is a straight up whinge. You know what they say, when you have a bad experience you tell 10 people. Well, I hope more than 10 people read this.

This tale involves my partner (let’s call him Josh, as that is his name), a bank (let’s call them a bunch of assholes. Or Commonwealth, as they’re also known) and an overseas trip.

There we were, gallivanting around Europe, putting all our money onto a Commonwealth Travel Card and enjoying our holiday. Then, BEHOLD! A spanner in the works. We tried to withdraw 400 Euro at an ATM in Rome, using our card, which, according to Commonwealth’s advertising is a:

“…safe, convenient and simple way to access your money overseas”

Uh-huh.

Well, the money did not come out and the ATM said something about a link failure, so we tried again. Alas, same message, same no money.

I tried my card (BankWest – owned by Commonwealth but clearly less retarded). Same error message, same no money.

We get back to our hotel, and check the balances on our cards. Mine was fine. However, the 800 Euro (from our two attempts) on the travel card was gone!

We immediately called CBA, only to be told there was nothing we could do except fill out a form. Oh, a PDF that we can fill out online? No, of course not. Get form, send to reception to print. Fill out. Back to reception. Try to fax form. Try to fax form again. Wait till next hotel. Try to fax form again.

This is difficult when the reception staff don’t speak great English.

Look, I get that annoying things like this happen on holiday. But what really makes this incident FLAWSOME was CBA’s attitude.

The staff Josh spoke to could not have been less helpful and more condescending.

Not only did they take our money, but we were informed it could take up to 60 days to get our money back. Well that’s completely helpful, obviously, especially when we’re overseas.

Then, there was the way they not-so-subtly suggested that we could have been lying about the cash. It’s always good when your bank works off the assumption that you’re probably trying to steal from them.

The most helpful advice they could offer us?

“I don’t know – why don’t you borrow the money from friends or something?”.

This, accompanied by “We’re doing everything we can to help you.” GAH! Why do people in the service industry think saying that is a ‘Get out of jail free’ line?

You’re not helping at all, let alone ‘doing everything you can’.

You are doing, in fact, nothing.

Actually, I will correct myself – they were doing something: passing the buck to MasterCard, who ‘own’ the product. That may be the case. However, CBA, you SOLD it to us, it has YOUR logo on it as well…you see where I’m going with this.

How about this, CBA – why don’t YOU lend us the money? You, who have f*#ked us over. You, who Josh has been a customer of for some 15 odd years.

Thankfully we had other money in different accounts, so our holiday wasn’t disrupted too much. And eventually we got the money back (SHOCK! HORROR! Turns out we AREN’T thieves!), but quite frankly, the whole incident has left a very bad taste in our mouths with regard to CBA. And, needless to say, we didn't get back the $160 we spent on phone bills trying to sort out the matter.

As such:

Commonwealth Bank of Australia?

DECISION: FLAWSOME

Occupy 2012!

2012-01-02T20:44:00.006+10:00

Well, to say we've been rather....what's the word....forgetful? Distracted? No, that's not right. Oh, I know what it is - lazy. Yep, that's the one. Lazy.

To say we've been rather lazy is kind. We haven't done anything. For almost two years. And that, my friends, is shameful.

You might think that we've gotten calmer in our older age, maybe matured a little bit. If you thought that, then you are a fool. We are just as mad at the stupidity of the world as ever. And to that end, I would like to go on to introduce the topic of this post: The 'Occupy' Protestors, one of major causes of rage for me in 2011.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Okay, so it started in New York, where I guess a few people can legitimately have claimed to have lost their jobs to financial mismanagement, etcetera. But then to have it spread all over the world the way it did? Half those hippy freaks didn't even know what the hell they were protesting. Not one protestor I heard could actually articulate what they were doing and why they were there.

"Um, we're protesting the MAN, man!"

"The economy!"

"Big business!"

And then to add the stupidity of the general protest, it's how they did it. Sit in a park. REALLY?! That's your big idea?! That's what I do for picnics, buddy, not when I want to change the world.

They appear to have achieved exactly nothing. Why? Because hippies, by nature, aren't an organised people. They appeared to have no agenda, no actual plan, and no idea.

"So, what do you want to achieve here?"

"Change!"

"What sort of change?"

*awkward pause* "The good kind?"

Let's look at this guy, for example. He was an Occupy Adelaide protestor.

Let's be honest, mate, you'd join any peaceful protest happening quicker than you could say

"Hey mate, are you going to share that weed?"

I don't know if perhaps they had some ideal that perhaps we'd revert to a bartering society? I guess they'd have to protest that eventually too, because it's tough to barter when you have no skills that anybody wants. No, thanks, I'll pass on your hand-woven hemp undies.

Maybe they were looking more towards Communism as the way of the future? Bad news, hippies. That's been tried and, I gotta be honest, it hasn't always worked so well. You may think there's not, but guess what - there are always better animals* (*George Orwell reference to make me sound smart!).

I think the funniest thing I saw was in Amsterdam, where there was a 'Occupy Amsterdam' protest going on (the fact there was one there at all is hilarious enough). Anyway, they had a banner with a 'Sponsored by' message and then logos from all the big European banks. Then, somebody had spray painted on it "THIS IS IRONY". Hippies, if you have to EXPLAIN to people that it's irony, then you have failed in making it ironic.

Anyway, welcome to 2012. Now let's all go back to worshipping the almighty dollar. HUZZAH for capitalism!

So, 'Occupy' protestors of 2011?

DECISION: FLAWSOME, MAAAAAANNNNNN

And we're back!

2010-01-29T12:33:00.006+10:00

Okay, so we here at A & F have been on a bit of a self-imposed hiatus. SOME of us have been traipsing around the globe, some of us have been watching far too much 30 Rock (if indeed there is such a thing). So, for the lack of posts you can blame Allison. I know I do.

Anyway, a New Year, a new thing to vent about:
Babies.
Okay, not so much babies, but THESE:

Oh God, how I hate them.
My thought process when I see them goes something like this:
"Ohhh....you have a BABY! Lucky you had that sign, I guess I shouldn't intentionally ram you like I do to most other cars."
No. That's a lie. I never, ever have that thought process.
You know why? BECAUSE I DON'T DELIBERATELY CRASH INTO CARS!
I have this little thing, where, generally, I'm pretty careful when I'm driving, because, oh, I don't know, I don't want to die.

Seeing that sign does not make me drive more carefully. It makes me full of rage, which probably negatively effects my driving.
I think people realise that it does nothing, surely? That's why accidents are called accidents, them being not deliberate and all.

Which brings me to the quesiton: Why do these signs exist?

Here's my thoughts: They are put up by the kind of women/people that seem to think giving birth is an achievement. Newflash: It's not! Almost 50% of the population is capable.
I bet these cars that have 'Baby on Board' signs are the same cars, that, in 15 years time, have those "(Insert Private School Name) (Insert one of Rowing/Rugby)". Wow! Your child participates in a thing! Congratulations, you produced an average human being. Good for you.

And those Pram Only spots in shopping centre car parks? Oh my God. Really? I don't know when that became a thing, but that's a whole other post.

Anyway - Baby on Board signs on cars and the drippy parents that put them there?

DECISION: FLAWSOME

Welcome to 2010, people.
I love it already.

SONG OF THE DAY - A year in review

2009-12-22T07:48:00.002+10:00

Before we give you today's song, let's take a look back at the tunes that made the grade this year.

Don't Stop Believing by Journey

22 by Lily Allen

Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks

On Tour by Bliss n Eso

Switch by Will Smith

Fascination by Alphabeat

Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners

Cold as Ice by Foreinger

Dangerous by Roxette

Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac

Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen

Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis

Only The Good Die Young by Billy Joel

Absolutely Fabulous by The Pet Shop Boys

I like you better when you're not around by Kate Miller Heidke

You Make My Dreams by Hall & Oates

I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness

Bulletproof by La Roux

Here It Goes Again by OK Go

You can call me Al by Paul Simon

Canned Heat by Jamiroquai

Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

Womanizer by Britney Spears

Words by Kate Miller Heidke

Politics in Space by Kate Miller Heidke

The Last Day On Earth by Kate Miller Heidke

Proud Mary by CCR & later Tina Turner

Telephone by Lady Gaga & Beyonce

Speechless by Lady Gaga

What a Fool Believes by The Doobie Brothers

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

You Are The Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne

Run This Town by Jay-Z, featuring Rhianna and Kanye West

That's quite a list, if we do say so ourselves (and we just did).

Now onto today's entry...

Well it's almost Christmas, so we here at A&F are giving you the greatest holiday song EVER...

All I Want for Christmas is You by the incredible Mariah Carey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ymlnxMZkXA

You can say what you want about Mariah, but you can't deny that this is a fabulous song and she has an amazing set of pipes! She also wrote and produced it, so you have to give her credit for that.

For those of you, who are Love Actually fanatics, like Kate and I...here is the version of the song from the movie...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVSmT4nNEkQ&feature=related

Side note...how awesome is it having Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant and Liam Neeson in one movie?! FREAKING AWESOME!!

Some people are better than you...and that's ok

2009-12-21T18:47:00.003+10:00

Hot damn, I LOVES ME SOME JAY-Z! He is awesome! Reformed crack dealer, now music mogul, worth hundreds of millions of dollars, married to a completely phenomenal chick! That's moving up in the world, I don't care where you're from.

Is it just me, or do he and Beyonce seem to be living the dream? He's fabulous and she is truly from another world. Just look at them...

They're just so cool, so talented, so gorgeous...don't you just hate them...NO YOU DON'T, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

J and B (that's what they call each other) are better than you, they are better me and you know what...that's OK.

Ben Lee has a song called "What would Jay Z do?", it's pretty much just about how awesome he is (I can totally get on board with that). Here it is...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKCJsta8e00

Here's what I'm loving about J and B the most (for the next day or so anyway)...

"Run This Town". Anyone will who went to the Britney concert recently, will remember how awesome this song was to finish the countdown!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVA-xTBeHyM

"Empire State of Mind"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UjsXo9l6I8

"03 Bonnie & Clyde"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGhRhaKmD8s

and the one that started it all, the awesomeness that is "Crazy in Love"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6HPJJjqvG0

So they are fabulous, they are far more fabulous than you...so deal with it!

Beyonce and Jay Z???

DECISION: AWESOME!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-12-14T08:02:00.002+10:00

You Are The Best Thing by Ray Lamontagne

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g25ZjKBXw8Q

How fabulous is Ray Lamontagne? He is like a modern day John Fogerty, all bearded and awesome!

This is Ray's best song in my (always correct) opinion.

Enjoy.

Ray Lamontagne?

DECISION:AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-12-07T10:12:00.002+10:00

I (Alli) LOVE KELLY CLARKSON!

Here at A&F we love our pop music! We aren't indy, we aren't emo and we certainly aren't heavy metal...We are pop and we love it!!

With that said, I will tell that I just adore Kelly Clarkson. I think she is fabulous, with a truly amazing set of pipes! My sister Heathie and I are off to see Kelly next year, when she tours and we are EXCITED!

I love that she seems like a normal girl. She freely admits her promo shots (like the one above) are air-brushed to hell and that in reality she looks nothing like that.

She's funny, I've heard her on Hamish and Andy several times and she was awesome!

Here's a brief selection of some great Kelly songs...

Since You've Been Gone...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxRS_GyBbM

My Life Would Suck Without You...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJedoEM7G5U

this is the Glee version of the song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKs_RwAHj0o

Because Of You (who doesn't love a good, depressing song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3D8J1rjGLg

Don't Waste Your Time...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ref5LcBvI18

Already Gone...(live and amazing)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqvKfGCsL5A&feature=related

Who doesn't love an angry chick song? Let's be honest ladies we all need them once and a while, right? RIGHT!

So Kelly Clarkson??

DECISION:AWESOME

Bah! Humbug!

2009-12-07T06:49:00.007+10:00

You know, I get where this guy is coming from...

This guy, he had the right idea. Poor bastard just couldn't escape the pressure of all the poor and boring people that kept bothering him...

Poor Bill Murray he was just a guy trying to get his job done. So, he wasn't really into Christmas...does that means he deserved to be haunted by 3 (very unattractive) ghosts?

I'm just going to put it out there...I (Alli) hate Christmas.

It hasn't always been that way. I, like every child loved it when I was growing up. I should also say that I have always been incredibly spoilt by the people in my life when it comes to presents (I'm looking at you mum!) I truly appreciate this generosity and thoughtfulness and I enjoy buying gifts for people in return.

The exchanging of gifts with people is not my issue with Christmas. Nor do I dislike how commercial it's become, to be honest I adore how commercial it's become. YAY Capitalism!

My issue is everything else! I'll give you a list (you know how I enjoy those):

The forced socialising! If I like you, I'll spend time with you, if I don't, I won't...it's as simple as that. Yet at this time of year, you are expected to speak to every member of your family. This includes people you haven't spoken to years, have zero in common with and less than nothing to talk about, but it's Christmas so you're guilted into it!

The rabid mobs of idiots that descend upon every major shopping center. Chermside during that 36 hour trading thing...I think that's what hell must be like. People walking too slowly, stopping in the middle of walkways, stroller-pushers thinking they have the right to do whatever they like and people seemingly forgetting that you have to pay for goods, then fumbling for money at the register! It's the general slowness of EVERYTHING that pisses me off.

The decorating of trees. This takes far too long, is far too messy and is the most annoying thing to take down. In the wise words of The Lonely Island "FUCK TREES"! Right on boys, perhaps I'll decorate a buoy instead.

The heat! It's no secret that I hate the heat, perhaps I would enjoy Christmas more if it was snowing. Now with global warming this may happen in Brisbane one day soon (yet another reason I do very little to help the environment). Where's your Christmas spirit now Al Gore!

Cheesy televised Christmas Carols. Let me say that I don't have an issue with the carols themselves, in fact I love to hear a bit of The Little Drummer Boy. My issue is the mass choirs they have at the back of these things! Oh god, the cheeseball, overly enthusiastic facial expressions. The coordinated hand gestures. The monk like robes! Just awful.

Now I'm not a bad person, I don't hate everything Christmas related. Here's a few of the things I love about Christmas...

A Muppet Christmas Carol. Michael Caine and Muppets! That's a winning combo! It is awesome and I love it!
Scrooged. You know I love Bill Murray and it is a truly hilarious movie!
Love Actually. The genius of Richard Curtis. This movie is as close to perfect as it gets.
Home Alone 1&2. LOVE THEM! They are truly hilarious.
Jingle All The Way. Arnie, in a Christmas movie? YES PLEASE! It also has Sinbad..."This is a sick world we live in, with sick people!
The Santa Clause. Tim Allen GOLD
Elf. "It's Santa, it's Santa! I know him I KNOW HIM"
All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey. Freaking awesome!!
Last Christmas by Wham (check out the Glee cast version too!) Love it!!!
Chocolate covered Almonds
Candy Canes
Spending time with the family and friends I do love
Seeing people really enjoy the gift I gave them

Visitors to this site will know of my undying love for Seinfeld. I always watch an episode called "The Strike" at this time of year. In this perfect episode Frank Costanza introduces us to Festivus. Frank hates Christmas and Festivus is what he created to take it's place...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8g4Ztf7hIM

My favourite part is the airing of grievances...I can get on board with that. I've got a lot of problems with you people!

SO, HAPPY FESTIVUS EVERYONE!

Christmas????

DECISION: FLAWSOME, OH SO FLAWSOME!

Alli, smarter than Kate? That can't be right...

2009-12-05T13:12:00.003+10:00

Ah, so, um, it turns out Future Alli was much more intelligent that Future Kate. That's not something I ever thought I'd write, but there it is.
Of course, you, dear reader, are questioning why. I can hear you "But Kate, you are SO much smarter than Future Alli...". It's true, I am. But this one time I will admit defeat in the intelligence stakes. Here's why:
I went and saw Paranormal Activity.

Loyal readers of this site will know that we have a penchant for torturing ourselves by going to horror films we know will freak us out. You think we would have learnt after Orphan. As it turns out, Alli is a faster learner. Huh. Who knew?

ANYWAY, this film was, in a word, terrifying! I wouldn't quite put it in the same league as The Blair Witch Project but it's up there!
You know how we feel about people just 'standing'. MY GOD. I have never seen more standing than that which is featured in Paranormal Activity. As Alli duly noted in a text after I told her of my stupidity in going to see the movie: "Of course there was standing. It's called Paranormal Activity and we all know there's nothing more paranormal than standing."
So true.
There were breezes as well! And fires!

It was interesting though. You know how in most movies most of the characters seem too scared, too willing to put whatever just occurred down to an evil spirit and run away for no real apparent reason? In this case, by the end of the film, you really want them to die, for being so freaking stupid for staying in this place with all this paranormal activity for so freaking long.

That aside, I can thoroughly recommend it you like to scare yourself stupid, which I obviously do. I live alone, and blatantly refused to stay in my own house after I'd seen the film.
So, well done Paranormal Activity. Thanks for making me look like an idiot. I didn't really need the help.

Paranormal Activity?

DECISION: AWESOME (ly terrifying).

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-12-03T20:12:00.002+10:00

Michael McDonald is awesome!

The guy was a member of Steely Dan and The Doobie Brothers, but also is an amazing solo artist!

Anyone who has seen any Judd Apatow film, will know he is often referenced. Michael also features in an episode of 30 Rock.

Here's the perfect storm of awesome that is, Mr McDonald, Paul Rudd and Jane Lynch in The 40 Year Old Virgin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqMTkJjeqbI

Here is the fabulous Jane Krakowski singing in McDonald's style on 30 Rock..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq5ra7qsjyc

This is our favourite song by the great man, it's from his time with The Doobie Brothers...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VZ5DfCY6kY&feature=related

So Michael McDonald???

DECISION:AWESOME

Our changing stance on Lady Gaga

2009-11-30T09:28:00.003+10:00

Slowly but surely, we here at A&F are changing our minds about Lady Gaga. We strongly recommend listening to/buying The Fame Monster her remastered CD, it is incredible.

We have long thought she was a total weirdo, despite being immensely talented. Yet we recently saw this interview with her on Ellen...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFgTP47R4Ic&feature=popular

Sure she is wearing a latex dress and her eyes look like she fell into a river of glitter, but ultimately she comes off as a charming, sweet and surprisingly normal girl.

Then there is her performance of her new song Speechless....AMAZING!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRILEQhJqoo&feature=related

That's all

30 ROCK!

2009-11-28T10:22:00.002+10:00

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW!

I (Alli) have a list of favourite TV shows, which has been set in stone for a long time....

Seinfeld

The Office (US &UK)

Survivor

Absolutely Fabulous

Extras

The Vicar of Dibley

Arrested Development

Entourage

Coupling

However recently I have made 2 additions. The first being Glee (however not the subject of this post), the other 30 Rock!

This show is so hilarious, it's almost perfect! Tina Fey created, stars in, writes and produces it and I just think she is amazing. Fey is also responsible for the brilliance that is Mean Girls, but that too is for another post.

This is about 30 Rock. I could ramble on all day about it, but it's better if you just see for yourself. In my opinion Season 1, Episode 5 is the best so far, but below is a selection of awesome scenes to get you on board...

The amazing combo of Alec Baldwin and Will Arnett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cp2Z712XtY

The genius of Tina Fey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMKrAR6YBDI&feature=PlayList&p=6A3A36CF6DD3BEB0&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=16

Alec Baldwin, who can now do no wrong in my eyes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xKBw8xL6WE

Dr Spaceman...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLM8xpsAURc

So please enjoy! Oh and btw JB Hi Fi have the first 3 seasons as a box set for about $55...now that's a good deal

So 30 Rock?

DECISION: "YOU JUST MADE THE LIST" AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-11-28T09:56:00.002+10:00

"Telephone" by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JACz19vCmn0

So loyal readers of our blog, will be aware of our feelings about Lady Gaga. To clarify we HATE the insane outfits and crazed, blood soaked performances BUT we love, love, LOVE the music.

There is no question she is one talented chick, who has a quality voice, plays the piano and writes her own songs. So what happens when you cross Lady Gaga with the force of nature that is Beyonce?

You get "Telephone". A totally AMAZING song we are obsessed with!!

Oh and for those of you who have mixed feelings about Beyonce, we suggest you watch the video below...the girl is a freaking ROCK STAR! This is one of the coolest things we've seen in a long time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz27VY-jYqc

So "Telephone"?

DECISION:AWESOME

Beyonce?

DECISION: PRETTY MUCH THE MOST AWESOME CHICK EVER!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-11-15T10:20:00.002+10:00

"Proud Mary" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

So it's safe to say that CCR is one of the greatest bands of all time! So many classic songs, such a great sound. It's "Proud Mary" though, that we dedicate today's post to.

Here is the original...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-2Of9aznxg

This song has been covered countless times, perhaps most famously by Tina Turner...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FitC5pV0cA

Most recently the awesome show Glee did a version...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_UV_Xv9VxM

AMAZING!

It is one of the catchiest songs ever and we here at A&F adore it, in all it's forms

So "Proud Mary"???

DECISION: ETERNALLY AWESOME! Thanks Mr Fogerty

Reason # 89108 to love Ricky Gervais

2009-11-14T13:41:00.004+10:00

Loyal readers of our site will know, that we truly love Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.

So we eagerly await the Australian release of Ricky's new film The Invention of Lying.

Here is the link to the trailer...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc79ho-PzeE

WE CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to share with you this little gem. Anyone who owns Extras on DVD will have seen "Finding Leo". I truly can't watch this without crying with laughter...you'll see why

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcyYybaKUX0&feature=related

Oh also just for fun, here is a clip of Ricky and Chris Martin. Now I used to think Chris, whilst being an incredible musician, was a bit of a douche. Then I saw him on Extras, dueting with Farhnsy and this little gem and I now think he is AWESOME...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DlvxYmBHYo

So anything vaguely associated with Ricky Gervais????

DECISION: AWESOME

Generalising to make your point???

DECISIOM: Totally satisfying

There are times I wish I was going through a break up

2009-11-12T11:33:00.004+10:00

Okay, maybe I did in the not-too-distant past. But it was not a time for tears, it was time for joyous dancing in the streets and a celebration of freedom.
I have absolutely no doubt any who knows of the relationship I had will agree.
However, had I been so inclined (I wasn’t) to wallow (I don’t) in sadness (none), I would have done so to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RLFfiBghio

The Last Day On Earth

Yes, it is one night before the A & F team attends the Kate Miller-Heidke concert, so I promise you this will be our last KMH post for a while. But we simply couldn’t go to the concert without recognising this beautiful song.

Granted, it’s not our usual type of song, which generally only gets a hearty A & F tick of approval if one or both of us has danced around our own houses to it whilst home alone.
You can’t REALLY dance to The Last Day On Earth, unless you’re doing some sort of crap interpretive modern dance (Grade 10 Drama Students every where, I’m looking at you).

Anyway, the point is this is song I can definitely imagine sitting in a corner of a room, listening to it, clutching a bottle of wine and sobbing.
I’ll leave you with that glorious image.

(But before I do, I also must note the fabulous dress she wears in the film clip. I fucking adore it. I think it's Alannah Hill, but correct me if I'm wrong).
The Last Day On Earth?

DECISION: AWESOME....but in a sad, flawsome kind of way.

Do I look like some kind of moron to you?

2009-11-10T12:37:00.003+10:00

No, don’t answer that, I’ll only get offended.

So, I generally think a lot of the population is at least of a ‘functional’ level of intelligence, i.e, they know enough to get through the basics of their day.
Some people do not know much MORE than that, but that’s not the point I’m making today.

I don’t think I particularly LOOK like an idiot. Maybe this is where my theory all falls down, maybe that’s exactly how I look.
Regardless, I can’t help but get the impression a lot of people mistake my wide-eyed innocence (ha) for stupidity.
For example, the other day I was down at Bunning’s (and that, my friends, is a whole other post. I LOVE YOU BUNNINGS!), purchasing some paint.

So I order the paint, and the chap starts making it and then comes back to me and asks what I was painting, to which I replied “Oh, just a feature wall in the lounge room.”
“Oh. Do you have a paint roller?”.
Now, that in itself does not sound too bad. But it was the way he said it. Slowly. Loudly. The way you would speak to a kind of person that has a ‘pants before shoes’ sign in their room.
Well, No Mr, I don’t have no roller! What’s a roller? I was planning on standing on the carpet, pouring the paint over my head and then just rolling myself along the wall in an artistic fashion. This is how it is done, no?

And then, about two days after this I was getting some cold and flu drugs from the Chemist. This time, the female attendant was telling me I should have a maximum of four tablets from the two different kind of drugs I had.
“So, that’s TWO from this packet, and TWO from that packet….so four in total, not four from each…”
REALLY?! SERIOUSLY?! I really look like the kind of person that can’t do the maths a five-year-old could do?!
I’m surprised she didn’t talk me through the process of using the EFTPOS machine and how I needed to press the pretty red and green buttons.
Hell, I’m surprised she assumed I needed to trade “money” for “goods” to make a “purchase”.
Of course, that whole ‘being polite’ thing overtakes me once again, and instead of saying
“LADY – I’m not mentally retarded” I say something more like “Okay, great, thank you. Two from each.” This probably just serves to exacerbate the problem. DAMN YOU MANNERS!

This problem has been plaguing me my whole life. I remember at High School, despite finishing within, oh, I don’t know, the top 3.5% percent of the state, I still managed to take home the ‘Biggest Bimbo’ award.
Granted, it was a tie. And I still claim whoever was counting the votes had it in for me and clearly just confused me for another Kate.
I MAY have managed to trip down the stairs in front of the 300 or so other people at the formal whilst accepting the award – but I fail to see how this makes me a bimbo.

So what is it?
Is it my magpie-like attraction to shiny things?
Is it that vacant, lifeless expression my eyes have in photos when I'm not really smiling?
Is it my habit of speaking THEN thinking?
Is it the fact that I often forget my pants?
I don’t know. But I do know this:

If a person is standing in front of you, fully dressed, coherent and NOT drooling and NOT wearing a super-hero mask and cape when they’re 25, that’s probably a relatively good indication that they know they need a roller to paint the wall.

People generally assuming you’re a little bit retarded?

DECISION: FLAWSOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-11-07T17:34:00.002+10:00

Day 7

"Politics in Space"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqYJNU6dIhg&feature=related

DECISION:AWESOME!

MOVIE OF THE MOMENT

2009-11-06T19:17:00.002+10:00

I can't tell you how much I love this movie! It is AMAZING! It is hilarious!

I remember when it came out, I so wanted to be Wednesday...now with all the tragic emo freaks out there, I'm singing a different tune.

The movie came out in 1994 and it holds up so well! It's one of those rare films where the sequel is far superior to the original (this was not the case with "Bring it on again"...not that I ever saw that...anyway).

Here a few fantastic clips...ENJOY!

The Thanksgiving play

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptLD0kCoHG4

The incredible Joan Cusack, one of the greatest monologues in movie history

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbH5ZIauoX0

The awesomeness that is Anjelica Huston

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-9sqQq7Mtg&feature=related

Last but not least Christina Ricci as Wednesday...just fabulous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KiudJtZIAI

If you haven't seen this movie for a long time, GET ON IT!

"Addams Family Values"????

DECISION:AWESOME!!!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-11-06T19:04:00.002+10:00

So next Friday we are of to see our beloved KMH perform and we are very EXCITED!

This week A&F will feature some fabulous KMH songs, in the lead up to the big show...

Let's kick things off with Alli's favorite..."Words"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE0QEVCrGFE

Catherine Zeta Jones is AWESOME!

2009-10-21T19:21:00.003+10:00

Hot damn we adore Catherine Zeta Jones! We must say that before Chicago, we thought she was a fairly talentless, gold-digger...HOW WRONG WE WERE!

She is so AMAZING in that movie, she puts everyone else to shame! She can sing, she can dance and she can act...we would hate her, but she is just too fabulous!

Here is a clip of CZJ performing "All that Jazz" from Chicago! Feisty, powerful and putting the ridiculously thin Renee Z to shame!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ4kBsyl_RA

Here is the "Cell Block Tango"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoCZEmfnE-M&NR=1

We've got a lot of time for fellow AWESOME brunettes!

We saw Chicago at QPAC recently and it was AMAZING! If you get the chance to see it...GO!

Anyway Catherine Zeta Jones???

DECISION: FABULOUSLY AWESOME!

SONG OF THE DAY/ Ode to Britney or as we call her Britters

2009-10-20T19:03:00.003+10:00

"Womanizer" by Britney Spears

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mtxrda3lh-w

So we have a confession to make to you, our dear and faithful readers...we LOVE Britney Spears.

For a very long time now, indeed since 1998, we have adored Britters. Sure there have been troubled times, rocky patches where we questioned our faith, but ultimately we've stood by her.

We proudly own all her music and dance to it unashamedly.

We had genuine concern for her when she began her tailspin into insanity. If I recall correctly we may have called each other, whilst watching the play-by-play of her hospitalisation on Perez (oh and every other news service).

We were worried when we saw the crazy in her eyes (we recognised it from occasionally seeing it in the mirror).

We tried to justify it when she shaved her head (it really doesn't look that bad?? ) and attacked that car with the umbrella (maybe she's just trying to be helpful...maybe it was raining...maybe she was just try to give the paps a hug).

Yet through it all we stood by her, believing that she would get back with Justin, wash her hair, throw those cut off shorts out, quit smoking, wear underwear, release an awesome comeback single and finally tour Australia. Now if you ask us, 2 out of 7 ain't bad!

The day we found our Britters was finally coming to Australia was a glorious day. It was like winning the lotto (except we had to pay $120 for the ticket, didn't win any money and that our lives are exactly the same). Now our seats may be hilariously bad but we don't care!

So we've picked "Womanizer" for SOTD. It was THE comeback single and it is catchy and fabulous! We love that she acknowledges her past crazy behaviour..."You say I'm crazy...I got your crazy"!

The video is classic Britters, it has just a hint of trash (hello nude seen) but is really, totally polished and great...oh and btw it has a shimmy in it! The shimmy, the dance move that everyone is capable of...god bless it!

So Britters...we love you, don't ever change (except please wash your hair, put on some underwear and get back together with Justin..ok, thanks)

Womanizer and Britney???

DECISION: AWESOME FOREVER!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-10-18T14:38:00.003+10:00

"Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond

Ok, so I am going to put it all on the line here and say *deep breath*, I think Neil Diamond is kind of amazing.

So I know he is kind of a dork, that he shows way too much chest hair (only Probst gets away with that) and has hair to rival Ray Martin...but who cares?! His songs are classic and great and hot damn the man can sing!

Check this out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzsUOmqpaeg

Oh and for those of you who doubt he is a legend, I've got one word for you...GLEE!

If he's good enough to be on Glee, then he's good enough for me, good enough for A&F and good enough for you!

Here is the clip of Puck from Glee, belting out the universal classic...ENJOY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2UtNnZNUdY

It is fabulous!

So Sweet Caroline???

DECISION: AWESOME!

So we are cheaters...

2009-10-17T21:39:00.005+10:00

Let us begin by saying, that this post has been a long time coming.

You see when you really love something, finding the right words to express that is incredibly difficult. In fact, sometimes words aren't enough.

A long time ago, we feel in love with a man called Ricky Gervais and his little show called The Office.

That show is perfection. It is hilarious, sweet and quite simply there isn't enough of it.

Here is an example of the perfection that is Ricky Gervais, David Brent and The Office...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye1C8vMqbHA

So when we heard there was an American version of the show being made, we were concerned to say the least. Alli's sister Heather was the first to get on board. Heather first started watching it, when Channel 10 originally aired it, late at night several years ago.

For quite a while Alli resisted the U.S version, believing there was no way it could possibly live up to the original. How wrong she was. The more she watched, the more she LOVED IT! It wasn't long before Kate came on board too, the show and it's charm is impossible to resist.

We here at A&F are truly obsessed with this show. Sure the first episode is essentially a word-for-word copy of the original, but the remaining 5 seasons of the show are pure genius. Even better Steven Merchant and Ricky Gervais are involved with it, so it's not really like we are cheating on them.

Not a day goes by when we here at A&F don't send random Office quote texts to each other. They are hilarious and random and damn it...they just make us happy. Every character in the U.S version is awesome! We love them all and we don't play favorites...most of the time.

So we thought we'd give you a few clips from the U.S The Office, in an attempt to bring it to the masses. Just think of us as Jesus and of YouTube as the bible...you're welcome universe

That's what she said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wf2pP7T0Y

Jim and Dwight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Pw_eX97TUw&feature=related

Parkour!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUlyqnmU0N0

Oh and finally there's Michael Scott...awkward perfection. He perhaps makes us more uncomfortable than David Brent...yep we're pretty sure that kiss in "Gay Witch Hunt" sealed that deal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLxcZnmtfis

So I'm sure this won't be last time we post about The Office U.S, but for now...

THE OFFICE U.S??

DECISION: THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-10-17T21:10:00.002+10:00

"Canned Heat" by Jamiroquai

It's been a while since we here at A&F, gave you a SOTD so we thought we'd kick things up a notch!

This song is so fun and catchy. You can't help but bust-a-move (yep we just said that, and yes we are aware that we're white chicks...no, not like that Wayans brothers movie, so don't get your nickers in a knot Harry Connick Jnr, no white face involved) when it comes on.

Here is the official video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGjC0wbUXzk

Oh and here is the song, as featured in the classic (by that we mean awful) movie Center Stage. Try and ignore the terrible, terrible acting and focus on the dancing. Let's face it who doesn't love feeling bad about themselves? Nothing gets that done faster, than seeing other people's talent...yep that is AWESOME!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPj5sm0KVRE

So "Canned Heat"????

DECISION: AWESOME!

Why'd you do it to us, Harry?

2009-10-08T10:18:00.002+10:00

What a fucking storm in a teacup. It’s events like this that make us grateful we have this website. It really was just a way of letting us whine to multiple people, rather than just each other.

Yes, we’re talking about none other than the Hey Hey skit/debacle.
Hey, Earth to Earth: It was a joke. Maybe you just didn’t get it right away.
All these self-righteous white folk are so freakin’ quick to jump on their high horses. How’s the view from up there, assholes?

You know what’s hilarious? I’m yet to hear one black person having a cry about it. Maybe that’s because they don’t care. Mainly, I think, because it WASN’T OFFENSIVE. The Jackson Five are/were black. It’s not like the group were saying black people are shit. They were just pointing out that yes, black people exist.
And once some of them were in a band that were awesome and sung songs.

And then one of them went white.

And now all these international journalists are getting on the “My, oh my, Australia is so racist…” bandwagon. GOD. Get a brain and opinion of your own. It’s funny, these English and American journalists thinking that Australia is racist. Um, guys…have you looked outside lately? Pot, meet Kettle.
I don’t know if you know this, but the guy that was Michael Jackson in the skit….yep, Indian. HOW THE HELL DID HE GET IN THIS COUNTRY?! GET HIM OUT, GET HIM OUT!

I suddenly just remember, why, in general, I don’t like people very much.

Loser international journalists on their blogs?

DECISION: Flawsome

Golliwog biscuits?

DECISION: Man, I wish I had one of them right now.

Oh, and PS PERSON WHO JUST DARED QUESTION ME. You know who you are. I am aware of the whole 'cultural signifigance' of it all - the whole Black Faces/Minstrels things.
My point, however, remains unchanged.

MOVIE OF THE MOMENT

2009-10-04T20:48:00.002+10:00

So loyal reader, it's time to introduce a new element to the site.

Please welcome...MOVIE OF THE MOMENT!!!

This is where we bring to you, the movies we think are AWESOME!!! Some are recent, some have been forgotten, yet all are AMAZING!

So let's kick things off...

The 3 Amigos!

Such a fantastic movie, so hilarious!

The best line of the movie, comes from Steve Martin aka Lucky Day

"In a way all of us have an El Guapo to face one day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big dangerous guy who wants to kill us."

You can check out that speech by clicking below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioKto0di3EA

There is singing and dancing (all be it wonderfully bad)...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mw9F5zawRQ

It has the singing bush (minds out of the gutter please people, this site is known for it's classy content)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMtM26UxKho

Oh and here at A&F we are having a major Chevy Chase moment (see previous post for further justification)! His character's name is Dusty Bottoms, as Kate says it is hilarious on so many levels!

So please, do yourselves a favour and watch it ASAP!

The 3 Amigos!???

DECISION: AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-10-02T19:26:00.002+10:00

A long time ago, in the year 1986 there was a song.

A song called "You can call me Al" by Paul Simon.

This song is so fun and catchy, but it's the video I love the most!

The video is amazing for several reasons...

It is simple. There are no special effects. There are no trashy girls in even trashier outfits. It is what it is and I have a lot of time for that.
It's funny. The height difference between Paul Simon and Chevy Chase alone is hilarious.
It has Chevy Chase! He is awesome in it! His miming of the lyrics while Paul Simon mimes the backing vocals is GENIUS! Oh, also he is Dusty Bottoms in The Three Amigos, so I can't not love him.
I love Chevy's Na Na Na solo! It is pure gold.
It's just a really great song.

So here's the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULjCSK0oOlI

Oh an FYI, you may definitely NOT call me Al (I really hate that).

So "You can call me Al"???

DECISION: AWESOME

The video for the song???

DECISION: SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME! I truly think it is one of the best videos of all time!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-09-30T15:00:00.005+10:00

We are so inspiring.
We were so inspired by our last post we decided to do a new post that related, in some vague manner, to our previous post.

Today's Song Of The Day is: Here It Goes Again by Ok Go (you see the connection, oui?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

What's not to love about this?

Firstly, the song itself rocks. It's the kind of song you can do the 'Running Man' to, and I like that in a song.
Secondly, it's seriously got to be one of the greatest film clips of all time.
Even better than Beyonce's Single Ladies (Don't you interrupt me, Kanye, it is). And definitely better than anything Taylor Swift has ever done.

They either DID choreograph it themselves, or they had the world's greatest 'looks like it's not professionally choreographed' choreographer. Did I mention I like the word choreograph?
I also love a bald man in a waist coat. Wait, no, I don't. I must be thinking of something else I like. Oh, that's right, men with hair not wearing waist coats.

But, credit where credit is due, he works the waist coat. He could probably work a fob watch, too, if he tried. And I can imagine he'd walk about, asking people if they'd like to know the time, then get out this fob watch, tell them the time and then be all like "Don't act like you're not impressed.". Because they would be.

Also, although it's not going to make Song Of The Day, I also suggest you check out A Million Ways to be Cool, the film clip for which really launched Ok Go. How they managed to eclipse this film clip with Here It Goes Again is truly the work of God and/or the Gods.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1_CLW-NNwc&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=628E2109105B0C62

Ok Go?

DECISION: WAISTCOATALICIOUS AKA AWESOME

Sigh. Here we go again.

2009-09-30T14:59:00.000+10:00

Why does this keep happening to us, seriously? It pains us. It makes us want to cause pain.

You guys already know how much we love people who don’t actually know how to use common sayings…but gosh darn it, they just go ahead and use them anyway. Because people are selfish like that.

So, here’s the one we heard yesterday “It totally fails in comparison...”

What? No.

Just. No.

There is a small part of us that wants to say “That could almost makes sense....maybe?”. But then a much larger part of us says “You’re a moron.”

The saying is: it PALES in comparison. PALES. Do you understand?

Yes, it rhymes with fails. But it starts with a different letter and has a completely different meaning. It’s almost like IT’S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORD.

I can almost hear you saying…but Kate & Alli, you’re not perfect. That’s where you are wrong, my friend. We are.

You, lady on Ferny Grove train?

DECISION: FLAWSOME

SONG OF THE DAY 2.0

2009-09-24T20:03:00.002+10:00

Some days an amazing event occurs.

Some days so much awesomeness is in the air, that it forms a perfect storm. No I'm talking the kind of perfect storm that involves George Clooney, a ship in poor shape and computer generated waves, I mean a storm of AMAZING SONGS!

So as you know Kate and I usually only one Song of the Day...that's not the case my friends. Today a dust storm of fabulous songs has clouded Brisbane (see what I did there? Relevant, people!)

Today we do 2!!!!!

I love love love this song!

"Bulletproof" by La Roux

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOYufRHQSms

So Bulletproof?

DECISION: AWESOME!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-09-24T14:15:00.003+10:00

Let me start by staying that Justin Hawkins, lead singer of The Darkness, is in NO WAY attractive. He looks like he should be in Deliverance, challenging someone to a duel with a Banjo.

However, having said that, let me say this: I want to have sex with him. Without touching him, because I’m sure I’d get some disease. Is that possible? As we all know from Pulp Fiction, personality goes a long way. And Justin Hawkins is mad-ass cool.

All of his songs are glam-rock awesome, and as he proved on Top Gear he’s hilarious. And a pretty okay driver. And I respect that in a man. I don’t respect drug or alcohol addictions, but he’s been to re-hab, and that always works, doesn’t it? Lindsay?

This song, I Believe in a Thing Called Love was really the pinnacle of what The Darkness was. I don’t allow myself to listen to it on the train anymore, since I caught myself miming along to it when listening to it on my Ipod. And that probably wasn’t even the most embarrassing thing I did that day.

Anyway, put on those glittered platform-soled boots and white jumpsuits and prepare to ROCK THE FUCK OUT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRYNYb30nxU&feature=PlayList&p=CE42C6883EF19044&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=16

500 days of AWESOME!

2009-09-21T18:33:00.002+10:00

So today I (Alli) went to see 500 Days of Summer. Let me just say how much I adored this movie!!! It was fantastic!

We here at A&F have loved Joseph Gordon Levitt since 3rd Rock From The Sun. That show was hilarious and I am happy to say, that he is just as wonderful now as he was then.

Not only was 500 Days fun, sweet, real and hilarious, it also had a AN IMPROMPTU DANCE SEQUENCE! Always the first sign of a quality film.

So what's better than an impromptu dance sequence? One set to a totally fabulous song!

The link below shows the best scene from the movie, but do yourself a favour and GO SEE IT...NOW!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2seAJsrtIbQ

That song is "You Make My Dreams" by Hall and Oates and it is a classic! You may remember it from The Wedding Singer.

For your enjoyment I've added the links to my favourite scenes from 3rd Rock From The Sun...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeSbePbLqDg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8FlibCaTdY

So 500 Days Of Summer?

DECISION: AWESOME

Joseph Gordon Levitt?

DECISION: TOTALLY AWESOME!

So in closing, I've got one thing to say to you all...WE WILL MIX THE WHITES AND COLOURS...ONE LOAD..ONE WORLD! Oh and I most certainly don't want to be part of any group, that hates the lower case letter t!

I love fireworks!

2009-09-14T11:20:00.002+10:00

I would like to share with you, dear reader, some personal texts that were exchanged between Allison and I on Saturday night.

We were both out. And both, shall we say, intoxicated.

A: I just heard Come On Eileen
K: I just did karaoke to Wonderwall. I’m like the Liam of Awesome.
A: Does that make me Noel? I am NOT cool with that!
K: You are SO Noel.
A: Well in that case...Fuck you, you stupid asshole.
K: I’m going to marry a wanker and break up the band.
A: Fine then. I’m going to quit, tour several times around the globe and then quit again.
K: Ha Ha ha.

What I’m wishing to illustrate to you, my friends, is that our awesomeness is not just limited to this site.
We are 100% awesome, 100% of the time.
Although perhaps the most surprising part of the exchange is we managed to spell things correctly and be at least somewhat coherent, which is surprisingly difficult on iPhones when drunk.

HOWEVER, Saturday night also served to further compound a fundamental belief I hold that really helps define my life:
PEOPLE.
SUCK.
Saturday night was ‘Riverfire’. It’s the commencement of the Brisbane Festival and basically a massive fuck-off fireworks show over the river and city.
As well as about 40,000 fireworks (literally), the F1-11s fly over and do a ‘dump and burn’, which is every bit as cool as it sounds. You kinda see the trail from it in the photo below - obviously it looks nothing like this in real ife, but hey. It's a cool photo.

So there I was on Saturday night, watching the fireworks from the balcony of the Treasury Casino. Sure, I’m 25, but goddamnit I LOVE FIREWORKS. Fireworks = happiness. I have absolutely no doubt that on Saturday night I looked a bit like somebody’s ‘special’ friend, just standing there, drink in hand with a massive grin on my face, watching fireworks. I think we’ve spoken before about the simple pleasures in life. And fireworks, to me, are an excellent example of one of these pleasures.

But then ‘Bitchface’, as I have dubbed her, rocked up.
Standing behind me was this woman. She was, it must be said, A GIGANTIC TOOL.
The WHOLE time she whined:
“Omigod, is this it? Is this what Brisbane gets so excited about? I can’t believe it’s just a whole bunch of fireworks. I thought it would be so much more, I can’t believe how lame this is”.

It took EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH I HAD not to turn around and smack her stupid face. Even the guy she was with seemed a little embarrassed by her. And rightly so.
Seriously, who thinks they are too good for fireworks?! They’re pretty, they’re sparkly and shiny. All the things I like.

It was blatantly obvious she was a Melbourne/Sydney-sider and thought ‘Hang on, there’s no way I can allow myself any pleasure in Brisbane, or allow myself to think that any part of Brisbane is okay.’
Well, love, here’s what I’ve got to say on behalf of Brisbane: FUCK YOU. And your little dog, too. She didn’t actually have a little dog with her, but she’s the kind of person that would have one. And carry it in a purse and make it wear clothes.

Much of the time I was watching the fireworks, I was debating whether to say something. Of course, as Kate, my role in life is to be confrontational and not let people have opinions different to mine. So in the end I ended up with
“God, it must be SO depressing to be you. Oh, and you’re kind of fat.”
Immature. Yes.
Satisfying. INCREDIBLY.
And I walked away, leaving her there with this shocked look on her face, without the quick-wittedness to reply.

Fireworks and Brisbane: 1
Dumb Bitch: 0

So, that stupid bitch?
DECISION: Uber-FLAWSOME

Remembering how bitchy you could be in high school and doing it to a complete stranger 10 years later because they were annoying you?

DECISION: AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-09-10T09:18:00.003+10:00

You know what I love? People from Brisbane who have gone done good (it's International Speak Like a Yokel Day, FYI).

Take, for example, me. And when I say me I mean Kate Miller-Heidke. We share the same name, so I am assuming we also have must more in common.

I LOVE her. I hate the term 'girl-crush' with a passion, but if I were to have one, it would be her.

Just look at her:
I mean, she's clearly wearing a Ken Done scarf here. Do I really need to tell you any more? She's probably the only person (besides Kath Day-Knight, of course) that can rock Ken Done and make it fabulous.

Anyway, all her songs are amazing. Like, say, Mike Skinner of The Streets, her songs tend to tell a story. And I like that in a song. Although I don't like that in a person, unless the story somehow involves me.

My current favourite off her album Curiouser is this baby, I like you better when you're not around:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4L5sLyrxOU

(Sorry for the poor quality vid...but I don't control YouTube, so quit your complaining).
I can't remember the last time I listened to a song so many times in a row.
It's so cheery, yet so bitchy. Kind of like me.
Ha!

"I mean like what the hell is with her, I mean like, no offence!"

Kate Miller-Heidke & I like you better when you're not around?

Decision: FUCKING AWESOME.

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-09-09T06:46:00.002+10:00

"Absolutely Fabulous" by The Pet Shop Boys

Words can't express how much we adore French and Saunders, they are fabulous! Together they are incredible but in our opinion, their best work comes when they are working separately.

In Dawn's case you have The Vicar of Dibley, one of the best shows of all time. That show was always hilarious and had the most perfect season finale! Sadly this post isn't about The Vicar, that post will have it's day though we promise you.

Today we champion Jennifer Saunders and the awesomeness that is Absolutely Fabulous!

We are particularly fond of Season 1, it is, without question the best. In that first season, there is not a moment that is not perfect and hilarious!

We could gush all day about it but we won't. Instead we'll simply tell you to watch the video below...it, like The Dead Sea Scrolls explains everything and nothing. This song is brilliant, it's one of our favourite shows squeezed into 3 min 41 sec and really isn't that just the most awesome thing ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YjDMmjgKec

Our motto for the day is "Just do your best darling"!

"Absolutely Fabulous" ?????

DECISION:AWESOME!!!!

Oh and also WE'RE CHANTING AS WE SPEAK!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-09-04T07:27:00.002+10:00

WE LOVE BILLY JOEL!!!

A long time ago ,Kate and I discovered our mutual love for The Joel. It's one of the reasons we've been friends for so long. The Joel brings people together...like Jesus (also we're pretty sure that if The Joel could turn water into wine, he'd be the happiest man on earth *glug* *glug*).

Our copies of The Ultimate Collection, have been played to death. That album truly doesn't have a bad song on it! If you don't have it, do yourself a favour and get it! We promise you won't be disappointed.

A couple of years ago, Kate and I went to see The Joel in concert. IT WAS AWESOME! Sure we were the youngest people there by about 15 years, but we didn't care! I believe Kate had a video of that concert, on which our incredible voices could be heard belting out the classics. Sadly you will never find that video on this site. I think it was destroyed..in a...fire...yeah that's right a fire. So um, we're sorry about that. You can rest assured though that the quality of our singing was top notch.

It seems fit that SONG OF THE DAY, goes to the great man.

But which song, there are so many choices...

"Piano Man"
"Uptown Girl"
"The Longest Time" (the favourite song of Michael Scott, who is truly worthy of his own post)
"My Life"
"A Matter of Trust"
"We Didn't Start The Fire" (or as it's know to fans of US The Office.."Ryan Started the Fire")
"She's Always A Women"
"It's Still Rock'n'Roll To Me"
"New York State Of Mind"
"Just The Way You Are"
"Big Shot"
"You May Be Right"
"Tell Her About It"
"I Go To Extremes"
"The River Of Dreams"
"All About Soul"
"Modern Woman"

We could go on all day, but we have to go with..

"Only The Good Die Young" by Billy Joel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJBoHa3GArA

So, "Only The Good Die Young"??

DECISION: AWESOME

Billy Joel?

DECISION: SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-09-01T15:02:00.002+10:00

I was going to leave this post to the power of the iPhone...but then I remember I have a brain. And that my iPhone can't type. I SEE YOUR FAILINGS NOW, PHONE!
You did so well to hide them for so long, but now we've had this relationship for a few months, they're all starting to come out and show themselves. I thought you were this totally different person, but then your true colours really started showing, and not in a good Phil-Collins-type- way.
....Ah. Um. I might have stopped talking about my phone there for a little bit.
Forgive me, iPHone, I still love you.

ANYWAY Song Of The Day is: Chelsea Dagger by the Fratellis. Now, I've only been to one actual EPL (English Premier League) match in my time, but in my head, they play this song at EVERY match, and everyone sings to it. Don't correct me if I'm wrong. It makes me want to jump around, holding a pint and spilling it on people. And then maybe stab someone.

I have no idea what this song is about, or whether it even has a story to it, but I LOVE IT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FME3pMY2NHw

Yeah, you try to listen this and not nod or tap your foot in some way. You won't.

Chelsea Dagger?

DECISION: AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-27T16:11:00.002+10:00

"Dancing in the Dark" by Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen

Dammit this song is AWESOME! Every time it comes on, we can't help but break out some 80s dance moves (see the video below).

On a deeper lever, we have come to believe that The Boss is a secret genius.

But Kate and Alli, that is absurd!! you say

Well, well, well we STRONGLY DISAGREE! Here's why...

The song was released in 1984. The greatest year in the history of time! All the most influential and awesome people were born in 1984. Take for example Delta Goodrem...we thought that would shut you up.
He goes out in the evening and comes home in the morning. He ain't nothing but tired. Bruce..OMG...YOU'RE RIGHT! We're tired too, when we stay out all night. Perhaps Bruce is nurse who works night duty?? Yes, we're sure that's it.
He has clearly studied the fire triangle and/or studied chemistry, because after much research we discovered that you really CAN'T start a fire without a spark. Wow!
Bruce states with certainty that "Something is happening somewhere". Again how does he know this??? There are people everywhere and they ARE doing SOMETHING! Bruce, please continue.
He says, you got to stay hungry. We tried this by not eating today, Bruce was right...we are just about starving tonight. He's like a doctor. A doctor of life.
Bruce advises that you can't start a fire, whilst you're sitting around crying over a broken heart. You mean water and fire together don't mix??? We're shocked, that explains SO MUCH! We have been trying to light fires for years but we thought the water was meant to go on when trying to light it, not put it out. DUH!

So there you have it. Bruce Springsteen is a GENIUS!

However A&F would like to make a safety announcement...

Dancing in the dark can be very dangerous. Particularly around stairs, open windows, criminals and people trying to hire guns (there is something shifty about not wanting to own a gun outright, it's also very un-American).

Enjoy learning kids...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at1BhVsImeY

"Dancing in the Dark"??

DECISION:AWESOME

Actually dancing in the dark??

DECISION: DANGEROUS

Religious Education

2009-08-27T15:29:00.003+10:00

Happily, I wasn’t forced to attend this in primary school. Thank you, Atheist Parents! However, this post is not about learning about Jesus Christ and his awesome magic skillz. It’s about….

SCIENTOLOGY.

Okay, so hands up who knows what it is? A Church (It is called the CHURCH of Scientology, after all…)? No. Wrong.
A Cult? Maybe. The best business idea ever? Fucking spot on.

I could not have less of a belief system if I tried. As Carrie says in SATC, I was raised in the Church of being nice people, etc. Only I got kicked out of that as well, but never matter.
However, I don’t begrudge others of theirs. Until it effects me. And then I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! (Ezekial 25:17).
Sure, that passage is from Pulp Fiction and doesn’t exist in the actual Bible (Yes, I checked), but you’re picking up what I’m putting down, oui?

ANYHOO, Scientologists. Do you want to know what they believe? It’s so hilarious I don’t even know where to begin.
Basically, it goes a little something like this:

1) Galactic Overlord named Xenu
2) Decided his planet was overpopulated. Shipped people in pods to earth and put them in volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs.
3) Had a net over the earth, caught the souls of these people.
4) Those souls now infect us, basically causing all the bad things in our life. They are called ‘Thetans’. But never matter, with an official Scientology Audit you can rid yourself of your thetans. TREMENDOUS. Sign me up (to any Scientologists reading, please note the sarcasm).

BUT here’s the funny bit. You don’t learn all that until you’re up to the highest levels of Scientology. At which point you’ll have parted with many hundreds of thousands of dollars and many hours of your time. So I totally understand why people get stuck in Scientology. Because how embarrassing to get to that stage and go “Oh…that's what I'm meant to believe? And I’ve paid you how much? Ahhhhh....shit.” Some of the original Scientology papers state that if you learn this before you reach these higher levels, you WILL DIE. Sorry guys, looks like I’ve just cursed you all to an early death. I should have put a spoiler alert.

But look, now that you know that, also know this: Scientology was founded by a CRAZY chap called L.Ron Hubbard.

Just look at him! If he's not the definition of creepy, I don't know what is! Who would follow a religion started by this man?! He's wearing a cravat, for God's sake! A CRAVAT. For a man who's a bit loose in the jowl-region, he should consider some other form of neck-wear. That goes for you too, Matt Preston. I know you're reading this. You can thank me later.

Mr Hubbard was a sci-fi writer (wow, the story about a Galactic Overlord called Xenu must have been a bit of a stretch for you to develop!).

He also once said this
“The only way to get rich in this world is to start a religion.”
Wh…ho….I don’t….understand…..?
After knowing this, how can anyone POSSIBLY even consider Scientology as anything but an awesome plan to prey on the weak minded?!
I’m not-so-secretly pissed off I didn’t think of it first.

So next time someone on the street asks you whether you’d like to participate in a free personality quiz, tell ‘em Xenu sent you!
And the stupid and weak-minded amongst us, part with your hard earned cash and enjoy your air diet. That’s what I call natural selection.
(For those of you wanting to learn more about the hilarity of Scientology, I suggest this site: http://www.clambake.org/)

Decision?
Natural Selection: AWESOME
Scientology: FLAWSOME

Our new religion called KateAlliology, now recruiting, $10,000 entry fee only!: TOTALLY AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-24T06:45:00.002+10:00

So yesterday we here at A&F discovered some very exciting news...FLEETWOOD MAC ARE TOURING!

We LOVE Fleetwood Mac! Not only are their songs all time greats but the legend behind this band is so twisted. It's like The Bold and the Beautiful, without the bad acting, "fashion" shows, disturbing old people making out and self-righteous old women in unflattering pant-suits.

When the group started there were 2 couples John & Christine McVie and Lindsey Buckingham & Stevie Nicks. Mick Fleetwood (who after watching the video below, we now believe to be one of the coolest dudes EVER) was not involved with any of them, however had the honour of watching both relationships disintegrate (as most inevitably do).

We've always loved "Go your own way", but loved it even more when we learnt the story behind it.

Lindsey Buckingham wrote it about Stevie Nicks. When their relationship came to an ugly end, he wrote this song...on which she was forced to sing backing vocals (THAT'S SOME COLD SHIT!)

Lindsey always thought Stevie was cheating on him, something she has steadfastly denied. The line "Packing up, shaking up's all you want to do" is a dig at Nicks, she asked him to take it out of the song...he refused.

We won't go into the band's other dramas...let's just say, they are one fucked up group of people...that's one of the many reasons we love them.

So below is a live performance of the song...we're sorry about the penguin but it's best just to go with it (it was the 70s after all)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GE7sGbnbqxk

So "Go Your Own Way"?

DECISION: AWESOME

Fleetwood Mac touring?

DECSION: TOTALLY AWEOSME!

That weird penguin thing Stevie Nicks is playing with in the video??

DECSION: DISTURBING

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-21T06:34:00.002+10:00

So to help me pick today's song, I decided to consult a higher power...my IPhone. The IPhone is good. The IPhone is wise. The IPhone has a shuffle feature which picked a song for me, saving me from actually having to use my brain.

So what did the mystical, all powerful IPhone choose???

"Dangerous" by Roxette

Clearly my IPhone is a fan of 80s music and bad 80s hair, but I'm not here to judge. I couldn't judge even if I wanted to. The IPhone is better than me and I know it. It's smarter, hipper, thinner, prettier, cooler, nicer, more popular and it doesn't even have a personality...OR A BODY! But let's leave my inferiority complex for another time...this is a happy place for happy thoughts.

I really love this song and I REALLY love the hilarious video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFNRh26TPmM

So IPhone?

DECISION: SMUG

"Dangerous"?

DECISION: AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-19T10:43:00.002+10:00

"Cold as Ice" by Foreigner

So I have a totally awesome sister, her name is Heather. My sister and I are fairly similar except for two small differences. While I (Alli) am a sooky-la-la who has been known to cry at Neighbours, Heather is a tough nut. I can count on 2 hands the number of times I have seen my sister cry, sadly I don't think Heathie can say the same. In fact I think she would need some kind of giant scroll, but I digress...

This song always reminds me of Heather, I think of it as her anthem. Her anthem of coldness. I often sing it to her. Just kidding...kind of. She is great...most of the time.

Anyway enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kul2VstxtCc

Kate and Alli's Adventures in Stupidity Part 2

2009-08-18T14:26:00.003+10:00

There are times in our lives, when we all make mistakes. If we're smart, we learn from these mistakes and don't repeat them...unfortunately Alli is not smart, neither is Kate.

After "seeing" (by that I mean peering through our fingers) Drag Me To Hell, I remember us saying the following...

Kate "Why do we do this to ourselves???"

Alli "I don't know, but NEVER again"

Well tragically for us, Past Kate is a moron and Past Alli is a dirty liar. We did do it again. We went to see Orphan.

You know what's stupid? Knowing you are a massive sooky-la-la, standing outside the cinema saying "This is a giant mistake" AND STILL GOING IN!

Future Alli & Kate (who we imagine are brilliant, rich, beautiful and awesome), we implore you...NO MORE SCARY MOVIES. You can't handle it. It will always end with regret, you running to your car and having nightmares...you know this...BE SMARTER!

Now, onto the movie...

Well let's start with a big WTF!!!!!!

That movie was truly fucked up! At one point Kate was curled into a ball and Alli had her hands over her face and eyes closed for a good 5 minutes straight! In the same way Drag Me To Hell made wind scary, Orphan succeeded in turning everyday things into instruments of horror.

You know what's terrifying...Fridge Doors! Every time someone is looking in a fridge, you know when they close it, some freaky shit is going to be standing there (you know how we feel about standing).
It destroyed Glory of Love! The song that usually reminds us of Bette in Beaches, is now the devils song! However at least there wasn't any carousel music...you know shit is about to go down, when that starts playing
Those of you who went to Ferny Grove Primary will remember fondly our Adventure Playground. Well those happy childhood memories are OVER! Now it's just a place full of little hidey-holes for crazy, devil children to jump out AND FUCK YOU UP!
Iphones. Regular visitors to our site will know how much we love our Iphones. Well this stupid movie had to go and destroy that! Alli has had to change her screen icon and ringtone...thanks Orphan, that's 30 seconds of her life she'll never get back
There are a lot of tools in this movie (no we don't mean tools of the Rebecca Wilson type, though THAT would be scary. We mean actual tools). At first we gave Esther the benefit of the doubt. We tried to believe the following...

Maybe she is just taking that hammer to do some repairs for the family?

Maybe she is just going to use that screw driver to make a cake?

Maybe she is putting her arm in that vice to earn some money to buy the mum flowers?

Let's just say that in trying to believe the best, we were wrong....VERY WRONG!

When we left the cinema, already traumatised, it was windy. Drag Me To Hell windy. Alli had to run from her car to her house, whilst Kate was scared by a soccer ball (we're sure it had evil intentions...it was carrying an Iphone after all).

The lesson here people, is simple and for the next week (if that) it shall be our motto here at A&F....

DON'T BE STUPID!

So, in closing...

Not being insightful enough to learn from your own mistakes???

DECISION: FLAWSOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-18T13:25:00.004+10:00

I don't even know the words to this song. But it really, really does not stop me singing along to it.

In my opinion, it's the ultimate pub song, the kind everyone on the dance floor is singing (or just shouting, really) to...and then busting some awesome moves to! As soon as I hear those first bars of music, I am grabbing anyone within, well, grabbing distance and dragging them to the dance floor, post haste!

And if Dexy's Midnight Runners isn't the best band name ever, I don't know what is.

COME ON, I NEED TO SOMETHING-SOMETHING

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdX98BxtnQY&feature=related

Come On Eileen?

DECISION: AWESOME

"You know we're living in a SOCIETY!"

2009-08-17T08:10:00.002+10:00

Yep, it's time for one those posts.

I hold the door open for people. All the time. I think it's the polite (and right) thing to do.
You know what ELSE is polite? Saying thank you.
I was at the movies the other day (seeing Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince for the second time, thank you very much. I honestly don't think I could be any cooler if I tried) Anyway, I was going to the bathroom and there was a mother and a small child making their way out. So, of course, I hold the door for them.
For ages too, as the random toddler was walking like, well, a toddler and blah, blah, blah, I practically missed the movie holding the door for them.

But THEN....no thanks! This is a major pet peeve of mine (really, Kate, we didn't pick that up based on the fact that you're devoting multiple paragraphs of text to it). So, of course I say loudly anyway "You're welcome!". Point made.

Is it impolite to point out when people are being impolite? Probably. But otherwise they'll never learn. And look, I'd like to think that the next time someone holds the door for that woman, she'd say thank you. I think I've made the world a better place. You're welcome, universe.

People with poor manners?

DECISION: FLAWSOME

The 2009 Flawsome List (celebrity edition)

2009-08-17T07:57:00.003+10:00

When we first started A&F, we brought you the 2009 Awesome List (celebrity edition). Now it is time to bring you it's twin...it's evil, evil twin.

Essentially, the inclusion criteria for this list is as follows

You must be a "celebrity". This means you must have been featured in NW magazine, at some stage.
You must be a tool, arrogant, drug-fucked, trashy, a dirty smoker and/or untalented
You can, but don't need to be an over-the-top feminist
You should be overly opinionated. These opinions need to be poorly supported and even more poorly expressed (this usually involves yelling, walking off and/or hanging up on people)

So now that you know what it takes, here it is....IT IS GLORIOUS!

Rebecca Wilson (Were you personally involved in the Matt Johns scandal? No? Are you also bitter about your absolute FAIL on the Footy Show? YES. So shut the hell up)

Germaine Greer (Just because you are ‘outspoken’ doesn’t make you right. Shut up)

Lady Gaga (See earlier post)

Perez Hilton (Now, not a year ago – got too famous to run your own site)

Agyness Deyn (Or whatever the hell her name is. Stumbling around drunk or high putting on whatever happens to be on the ground, does not make you a style icon...go to rehab!)

Lara Bingle (So, you were in an ad once? And now you’re engaged to a Cricketer? Remind me again why you’re famous)

Kate Moss (Mmm – drug addled! My favourite kind of model)

Christian Bale (What he says is hilarious...not awesome)

Evan Rachel Wood (Homewrecker)

Marilyn Manson (Oh, please. It’s almost TOO easy)

Sienna Miller (see Evan Rachel Wood)

Lara Bingle (Yes, she’s on here twice. She’s THAT annoying and pointless)

Anna Wintour (We’ve seen the Devil Wears Prada)

Camilla (How…*turkey slap*)
Labrat (Did…*turkey slap*)
Stav (you get on radio? *turkey slap*) oh and all 3 of you, GOTCHA CALLS ARE NOT FUNNY!

Kyle Sandilands (How did YOU get on radio? Unintelligent, vile, creature who perhaps should be shot like a rabid dog).

And Jackie O (Just because she’s associated with the above!)

Gracie Otto (for dating Matthew Newton, after he was charged with beating his previous girlfriend...NOT SMART)

Matthew Newton (Beating women and then starring on a hit television series? How did you swing that one? Pun intended!)

Sean Penn (Takes himself a little too seriously)

Andre Leon Tally (Why do you work at Vogue? You tacky, label-obsessed, tasteless freak!)

Heidi Montag (You married Spencer Pratt)

Spencer Pratt (You married Heidi Montag)

Mischa Barton (Put down the crack pipe honey!)

Lindsay Lohan (You broke our hearts! Why did you have to start out so awesome?! It would have been better if you had just sucked from the beginning)

Kristin Stewart (Blinking erratically...is not acting! Also DROP THE ATTITUDE, remind me again what you have to be surly about???)

Kimberly Stewart (Your father is famous, you are not. Please go away and cut your stripper hair)

Paris Hilton (Vile)

Jordan aka Katie Price (Even more vile)

Samantha Ronson (Riiiiiiiiiiight you're a "DJ")

Kevin Federline (White guys rapping...not cool. You are not Eminem. Oh also STAY AWAY FROM BRITNEY)

Joe Jackson (Promoting your "record label" 2 days after your son/meal ticket dies...classy)

Amy Winehouse (We don't even know where to start)

Bai Ling (You have heard of clothes, right?)

Isabel Lucas (You belong in a caravan park. Possibly with bongos)

Lady Sovereign (How dare you do that to an eighties classic. You are NOT forgiven)

Phoebe Price

Scarlett Johannson (You married Ryan Reynolds. That’s reason one)

Lisa Rinna (Step away from the collagen)

Rumer Willis (Your parents are famous, you are not...please go away)

Phil Gould (Only when he’s coaching/talking about NSW. Otherwise some of his comment are totally valid, for someone who so closely resembles a toad).

David Reyne (You were in a crappy band from the 80s. You now host a truly awful morning show, in which you think your musical taste is refined and highbrow...PLEASE SHUT UP)

Marcia Hines (You have lived in Australia since the 60s. We find it very hard to believe that you haven't even picked up a hint of Aussie accent...that's right we're saying your American accent is slightly bunged on)

Mickey Rourke (For the LOVE OF GOD put a shirt on!)

Denise Richards (See Mickey Rourke)

Hayden Panetteire (You think you’re so darn good, just because you harp on about protecting Dolphins? You know what – how about donating some of your hundreds of thousands of dollars? I think that would be more helpful)

Audrina Patridge (Meet my eyeline, Audrina!)

Tara Reid (Shudder)

This list is able to grow at any time.

Having to accept that these "people" breathe the same air as us: FLAWSOME

Having our own blog in which to berate them: AWESOME

That's all.

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-17T07:20:00.003+10:00

"Fascination" by Alphabeat

I love this song! It's sounds like it belongs in some fabulous movie from the late 80s/early 90s. You know the movies I mean...Big, Three Men and a Baby, Ruthless People, Overboard, Outrageous Fortune the list goes on.

In a world filled with crappy, sad-sack, emo music, and music where instruments and singing are all but eradicated, this tune gives me hope. I can't see people wearing all black and too much eyeliner listening to this song, which makes it all the more fantastic in my book.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3RjCiq1ICY

Fascination???

DECISION: AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-14T16:59:00.002+10:00

I can't even believe I'm admitting this in public...

I love Will Smith's music. Not Will Smith himself, I fancy he may involve himself in Scientology (now that is an entire post for later).
But every one of his songs....I can't help but dance to, in my white-girl way.
I still have clear memories of skating around busting a move on my mega-cool rollerblades to Boom! Shake the Room. Those were the days.

Then there's this - I swear to God I listen to this every time I'm getting ready to go out. Oh, and alright, yes, a little bit already drunk.
Don't you judge me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OYyr0ZCspA

Switch?

DECISION: That's what I'm talking about! AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-13T11:39:00.002+10:00

" On Tour" by Bliss n Eso

So here's the thing, I love this song! I usually hate Australia hip-hop, it always seems a bit desperate and fake to me.

Whilst these guys wear way too many hoodies and baseball caps(I really hate that!), I can't help but think this song is fun and hilarious.

Now I should make one final thing clear, I'm a white girl who has no delusions that I am in any way hip or cool. I do not hip hop dance, if this was the 90s I would not be wearing cross colours and I currently own every Britney Spears CD.

So with all that said, enjoy (oh and once again I'm really sorry about the hoodies)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1dyiLnLBww

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-11T08:52:00.002+10:00

"Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks

This song is AWESOME! Sure clearly she did WAY too many drugs in the 70s but I think Stevie Nicks is kind of fabulous. She's a bit freaky-deaky but who cares? She was in Fleetwood Mac for god's sake! If you know anything about the story of that band, you will know how much more fantastic their songs become.

But today is not about Fleetwood Mac, it's about Stevie. So strap yourselves in and enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKd3ftOvhcQ

"Edge of Seventeen"??

DECISION: AWESOME

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-10T09:42:00.002+10:00

I would like to state, dear reader, that I am doing this FOR YOU.

I am in a world of pain (which yes, I brought onto myself) but I am breaking through that pain barrier to bring you Song Of The Day. I hope you appreciate this.

The Song Of The Day is '22' by Lily Allen. I'm a massive fan of Lily, and have been since her first song Smile, because I like a good ol' fashion song about revenge.
Anyway, I kind of identify with '22', although I'm not 30. It sort of captures how I feel sometimes. I identify with the film clip too, especially the idea that when you look in the mirror when you're drunk, you think you look awesome. Granted, most of the time I do, but you get the idea...

Anyway, enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaVpba1c_jk

'22'?

DECISION: AWESOME

The tribe has spoken...Jeff Probst, you are still so AWESOME!

2009-08-10T09:39:00.004+10:00

Back in 2000, we here at A&F developed a disease called Probstaliosis. It's a very serious condition, for which there is no known cure.

Essentially it means that we love Jeff Probst and nothing and no one can change our minds.

Symptoms include the following:

Wanting all men around you to have a rugged 5 o'clock shadow
Wishing that all men wore shirts rolled up at the sleeve, slightly unbuttoned and little dirty (We're not talking "homeless" dirty but "I've been on location in Africa/China/Cook Islands/ Australian Outback and don't have a washing machine" dirty)
Thinking that hacking through a forest on the way to a helicopter, is just about the coolest thing ever
Wanting your friend to say "The tribe has spoken" and snuff out a torch at your funeral
Getting ridiculously excited at being somewhat linked to Probst, or meeting someone who has met/knows him
Wanting to wake up and start your day with someone saying..."Previously on Survivor"

It's been 9 years since Survivor first aired, yet we still think Probst is as cool as the first time we saw him.

The guy is awesome, no question.

He mocks the contestants.

He clearly enjoys baiting them with awkward questions at tribal council.

He has an awesome job and hasn't taken that for granted.

He has many great catchphrases which you know he loves, such as...

"Wanna know what you're playing for?"

"I'll go tally the votes"

"Once again, immunity is back up for grabs"

"Come on in guys"

and the greatest of all...

"The tribe has spoken"

Jeff Probst makes the universe better. Consistently cool for 9 years.

Jeff Probst?

DECISION: AWESOME

Follow us on Twitter!

2009-08-07T12:19:00.003+10:00

That's right, kiddies. We can use the internets.

Allison is Alli888, and I'm Katetheunicorn. Don't ask me why. Possibly because I like the idea of having something I can stab people with on top of my head. Oh, the hilarity that would ensue.

Follow us on Twitter so you know of our updates AS SOON AS THEY HAPPEN!
Decision?

AWESOME!

You stay classy, interwebs.

SONG OF THE DAY

2009-08-07T11:26:00.002+10:00

So we're introducing another new element to the site called, "Song of the Day".

Essentially we will just post daily, a song we think is awesome. It's as simple as that people.

We should add that we will NOT be turning into Perez Hilton. We do not want to shove our musical tastes (awesome as they are) down your throats. We do not, nor will we ever, see ourselves as musical gurus. Oh and side note, we think the fact that Perez now has his own record label is vile! The guy is a gossip columnist for crying out loud! Oh and Perez btw, if you call Lady Gaga either wifey, gagaloo, our lady or any such obnoxious nickname again, we will have to be committed to the psych ward because WE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Now onto today's song...

"Don't Stop Believing " by Journey

OK so this song is AWESOME! Why? Because it's a classic. It's not about fancy beats, just some dudes from San Francisco rocking out on actual instruments. It's fabulous because it makes you sing along with it, oh you can try to fight it but it will get you in the end. You can crank it in you car and end up with a big smile on your face, because it's a fun song and you can sing it as badly as you want.

Below are the links to two versions of the song. The first is the original by Journey the second from the show Glee. Go now people to Itunes and buy it. This song makes the universe better!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=barLaHrtvoM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Eo14wdYno

"Don't Stop Believing"???

DECISION: AWESOME!!!!!!

I will fight you.

2009-08-06T11:03:00.004+10:00

I googled Rebecca Wilson. What I found digusted me beyond belief.
One of the speaker’s bureaus she’s listed with calls her ‘Queensland’s gift to the nation.’. OH DEAR LORD.
I can think of many other gifts to the nation that we here in Queensland have given. Such as The Great Barrier Reef, Wally Lewis and, well, Alli and I.
Rebecca Wilson could be considered a gift, I suppose. If a gift was defined as something you wish never existed and who you mostly feel embarrassed for.

She was asked, once, why she thinks people dislike her. Her response was ‘“Because it’s sport and because I’m a woman and because ... I tell you what, I said to someone on radio the other day who was working with me, ‘Don’t take me on and put my back to the wall because I’ll fight you and I’ll win. Don’t do it’.”
WRONG, Rebecca. It’s because you’re a moron.
And I will take you on. Bring it, bitch. Any day of the week.

She’s always sticking her big, fat, mouth in where it doesn’t belong. Like when she opened up her trap during the Matthew Johns rape furor. I personally believe that in this case, it was the female that was at fault. I actually believe Matt Johns’ story. I don’t think that in all cases, but in this one the girl sounds like some dumb slut who should’ve known better. And puh-lease. SEVEN YEARS of depression and thinking about suicide? Unlikely. If you’d be thinking about it that much you would have done it already.
Anyway, I digress…
She started ranting and raving about this poor girl, how she was such a victim, blah blah blah. She was acting like she was there, like she alone knew the truth. WRONG AGAIN, Rebecca. You’re nothing but a dirty journo. Not that all journalists are dirty, but if she wants to call herself a sports reporter…you know what, report sport.
Otherwise, do us all a favour and go work for News of the World, where truth is as flexible as a drunk yoga instructor.

And now all this Broncos business. Please. I openly admit I’m a great Broncos supporter. However, I know, like all men, they’re bound to do stupid things from time to time.
But then ol’ Beccy gets involved and just….grrr!! I’m so angry I can’t even verablise my anger! And I’m great at being angry.

I’m a big believer in the fact that people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Does everyone here know she was arrested MULTIPLE TIMES for drink driving?
Well, she was. So she’s not only a drunk…but a stupid drunk, too. And they’re the worst kind. Not in a stupid drunk like I’m a stupid drunk kind of way, when I believe I am awesome and should pretty much win So You Think You Can Dance.
You know what, drunk driving could cost people lives. You, Rebecca, I’m not so worried about. It’s the other people on the road.

Her attempts (succesful, unfortunately) to gain attention just by being outspoken are, at best, pathetic, at worst, evil.

It reminds me of something Romy (of Romy and Michele's High School Reunion) once said:

"You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying fuck what you think."

I think that sums it up nicely.

(She's also ugly in the face!)

As a side note, I would encourage you all to listen to Meshel Laurie V Rebecca Wilson on the Matt Johns issue from earlier this year. It’s been one of the highlights of my year, radio-listening-wise and just another reason we think Meshel Laurie is awesome, but that’s a post for another day.

Decision?

Rebecca Wilson: FLAWSOME

Back off!

2009-08-04T14:31:00.003+10:00

I buy awesome lunches. I am very rarely organised enough to plan for my lunches during the week, so I tend to make use of the numerous cafes/restaurants/sandwich shops in the South Brisbane area.

And I'm not afraid to buy tasty food. I openly admit it. My food may not nearly be as healthy as some of my work colleagues, but damnit it's tasty and if I have to carry a bit more cellulite because of it, then damn it, I will! I love my food. In fact, I just love food full stop. Mine or anyone elses.

Which brings me to the rant - you like the look of my food? You know what? BUY IT YOURSELF! I rarely buy my food from a location that is more than 100m away from our offices. But, guaranteed, each time I bring it back to the office there is undoubtedly AT LEAST five people who'll look at my food, comment 'Well, gee...that looks nice'. And then pause, looking at it, and looking at me.
What's that? You want me to offer you some? HELL NO, BITCHES.
I have no problem sharing food, at all. But don't try to be all subtle about it. Come to me, say, hey, that looks awesome, can I have a chip/wedge/taste/chicken leg/shoulder of ham? Do not stare at it, and me, drooling, until I begrudgingly offer you some. We're wasting time, people. Ask for it, I won't be offended and let's face it, I'm generally too polite to say no. Plus, I'd do the same to you.

Or, better yet, stop your denial and say I LOVE FOOD, TOO and buy your own damn wedges.

Decision?

My lunches: AWESOME

You lusting after my food: FLAWSOME

Oh Katherine Heigl, why must you disappoint us so?

2009-08-03T12:13:00.006+10:00

Oh Katherine Heigl, where shall we begin??

As a wise woman once said, we should start at the very beginning (apparently that's the very best place to start).

We used to love Katherine Heigl.

We thought she was an awesome chick and for a while we believed we were right in that assumption.

The following reasons prove that we weren't crazy

She was/is (sorry for being ambiguous but the finale was a cliffhanger) Izzie Stevens on Grey's Anatomy For the first few seasons of that show (before it all got a bit...well..crap) she was one of the best characters/actors on it. She helped make Izzie funny, relatable and the most normal of a pretty insane bunch of characters. She won an Emmy too (for what that's worth).
She isn't a size 0. She looks like a woman. She has curves. She makes girls who live in the real world feel a little bit better about themselves.
She is 1.73cm tall. She isn't some petite waif who makes the women around her feel like giants.
She played Alison in the AMAZING movie Knocked Up. Awesome name and awesome movie. She was funny and fabulous in it.
When her friend and co-star T.R Knight was called a gay slur on the Grey's set by Isaiah Washington she stood up for him. At the time Katherine responded to the comment by saying: "I don't think [Washington] meant it the way it came off, but T.R. is my best friend. I will throw down for that kid. I will beat you up. I will use every ounce of energy I have to take you down if you hurt his feelings."
When Washington continued to speak publicly about the incident she again came to her friend's defence saying "I'm going to be really honest right now, he needs to just not speak in public. Period."; "I'm sorry, that did not need to be said, I'm not okay with it."
She has guts and opinions and isn't afraid to voice them. We used to have a lot of respect for her and how honest she seemed. However honesty also has to be self-edited. Anyone with a brain knows, that sometimes it's in every one's best interests to keep your opinions to yourself.
She's lazy and we get that. She has said "If I wasn't in this industry, I wouldn't work out. But I have hips and a butt and everything that goes along with that, including cellulite! So I do the best I can."

She seemed so cool and then somewhere along the way something went horribly wrong.

We've been down this path before, when someone we thought was totally cool and awesome turns out to be the complete opposite (We're looking at you Lindsay Lohan). It saddens us greatly to say this but Katherine Heigl - you have become a total fuckwit! You disagree? Well, sadly, we have proof:

Knocked Up was her first big, starring role in a major movie. It was a huge success and it made her a movie star. Then she went ahead and took a big bite of the hand that was feeding her and said this about it..."It's a little sexist. It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. It exaggerated the characters, and I had a hard time with it, on some days. I'm playing such a bitch..."
She's a working actress. She has a steady gig on a hit show, whilst millions of unemployed and possibly more talented people wait tables when they can. Despite this, she slaps everyone in the face. After her first day back on the set on Grey's she had the following comment to make "Our first day back was Wednesday and it was — I’m going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them — a 17-hour day." Well boo-freaking-hoo! I'm sure most people would rather work 17 hours a day than none at all, or work 17 hours in a thankless job for no pay.
She's a dirty smoker...that's all we need to say about that.
In response to her criticism of Knocked Up Seth Rogen had this to say... "I gotta say it's not like we're the only people she's said some batshit crazy things about. That's kind of her bag now." We love Seth Rogen (aside from the excessive weed smoking) and will back him all the way!
She's ungrateful
She's unprofessional
She's gutless...if you want out of Grey's QUIT! Give the job to some poor actor who needs the money
She need to get over herself STAT!
She's an idiot. Judd Apatow is one of the biggest writers/directors/producers around at the moment and she has pissed him off...not smart.

Katherine, we don't want to dislike you, we can't hate you because...well...we just really love Knocked Up. We want you to be normal again and for the old you to come back. We want you to get over yourself and realise that no matter how "bad" you think your life is, at the end of the day you are paid millions of dollars to dress up and play pretend.

So, it is with a disappointed heart that we say...

Old Katherine Heigl: AWESOME

New Katherine Heigl: So very FLAWSOME

"You know we're living in a SOCIETY"

2009-07-29T19:51:00.003+10:00

There is an episode of Seinfeld called "The Limo". In this episode George is at the airport waiting to pick Jerry up for a flight. George asks the man next to him for the time as he is wearing a watch. The man points into the distance and says "There's a clock over there". Shocked, George asks again with a similar results. Finally the man walks away still refusing to tell him the time and George shouts out a line which struck a cord with me...

"You know we're living in a SOCIETY!"

This line struck cord with me the first time I heard because it reflects how I feel about today's society on an almost daily basis.

As a general rule I'm not the biggest fan of "people".

"People", well, they kind of suck.

Not all people and not all the time but almost daily the universe shows me that a startling number of people are freaks, rude, selfish, inappropriate or crazy.

Since this is our blog, Kate and I have the right to vent and rant about whatever we choose. It is with this in mind that I introduce a new element to the site.

From now on when you see a post titled "You know we're living in a society" it will be in relation to a person and/or their actions which shock us. It may be a part of society that really gives us the shits.

I'll get things rolling...

Myer sales assistants.

Let me preface this by saying that I have worked in retail. I worked at Woolworths for 5 years and so that gives me the right to criticise others in the field. During my time on the checkouts I dealt with my fair share of rude customers but this post is not about them. This is about rude sales assistants. While scanning people's items or dealing with their requests I always tried to keep a smile on my face and be polite, this goes for most of the people I worked with too. For the most part I think we succeeded.

It is not hard to go to work, put a smile on your face, greet people politely and in general just be nice. This is not hard labour people, it's retail. I think someone at Myer needs to remind their staff of this.

I don't want to tarnish all Myer staff. Indeed I have come across some lovely people working there who have been very helpful...sadly they are the minority.

At every Myer I have been to I am always surrounded by snooty sales people. Why is this? You are working in Myer, people! Y0u don't own it! Each time I get to a register I have to wait until the sales people finish their chat to be served. I am then greeted with neither a smile nor a hello. I always get the "Myer One?" question which is followed by my goods being stuffed in a bag and tossed at me.

I once dared confront one of these people, politely and calmly I might add. The result was she couldn't even be bothered to listen to me and just chucked a complaint card in my direction. She refused to acknowledge that her service was anything less than stellar...this woman did not say a word to me until I spoke to her at the end of the transaction, in fact, she barely looked up.

I very rarely criticise the service I receive (to the person's face or formally) but I have decided to take a stand. A stand against bad/rude service of any kind. People: suck it up, put on a happy face for a few hours and just get on with it! If you hate your job that much, give it to one of the thousands of unemployed I'm sure would be happy to take it.

Here is a reality check for all of the following people....

Snooty Myer sales assistants
Arrogant trendy/emo teens at Universal/General Pants (side note comb and wash your hair)
Current checkout kids at any of the major supermarkets
Judgemental/apathetic waiters
The beyond rude woman who works at the Windsor newsagent

DROP THE ATTITUDE!

All we ask for is for you to do the following:

Greet us with a smile
Say "Hi, how are you?" even though you don't care and we know that...just ask
Make polite small talk, you don't have to say much but make a token effort, okay? (this does not go for hairdressers or beauty therapists...we want to relax not to make inane chitchat for an hour)
Treat the items we buy with a little respect. Don't chuck them in the bag and then chuck said bag at us
Smile (again I know, this might be tough for you emo kids)
Say "Thank you. Have a nice day."
Don't think you're better than us...you aren't

So that's my vent for the day, my attempt to bring society's flaws to the forefront. You're welcome, universe.

It's official...you're a moron

2009-07-27T14:41:00.003+10:00

So, I was getting my coffee this morning from the local cafe (Raw Space in South Brisbane for those in the know) and I overheard the following from a customer talking to the barista:

"So, they were just not listening to me at all. Everything I was saying was falling on silence."

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.

I just stared at this woman, mouth agape.

Did she not realise how little sense she made? Falling on silence? Seriously?

Falling on deaf ears makes sense. If you are speaking to someone and they are ignoring you, it is like their ears are deaf. Hence, deaf ears. Falling on deaf ears.

You know what, if you don't actually KNOW the saying, please don't try to use it.
But then again, that one is just so far from being right I can't even begin to justify it. It's because of people like that I wholeheartedly support the implementation of some sort of basic intelligence test to see whether someone should be allowed to reproduce.

My other pet peeve "For all intensive purposes...". No, no, no, no, no, no. No.
The saying is "For all intents and purposes...". It's like one day, in a business meeting, someone in upper middle management said "For all intensive purposes..." and then one of the junior staff wanted to express the same thing, but didn't want to correct their superior so said the wrong thing on purpose and then everyone else assumed they must have been wrong because they'd always said intents and purposes and THEN IT ALL JUST SNOWBALLED AND NOW LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED!

Sigh.

Incorrect use of common sayings?

DECISION: FLAWSOME

So we are idiots...

2009-07-27T10:52:00.003+10:00

Kate: "Wanna go catch a movie or something?"
Alli: "Perhaps. What and when?"
Kate: "Drag me to Hell is on at 10 to three"
Alli: "Lock that in"
Kate: "See you there at quarter to. Be prepared to freak the fuck out!!!!"
Alli: "Holy shit!"

So it's Sunday afternoon and you're bored. Your friend texts you to see if you want to see a movie. You like your friend and you like movies so you say yes. You are an idiot...and so is your friend.

Both Kate and I are scaredy-cats, we freely and openly admit this yet we also put ourselves through watching horror films. I believe psychiatrists have a name for us but who cares what they say? If you believe the scientologists psychiatry is a load of crap...you also believe Tom Cruise is a straight man...but I digress.

So with the full knowledge that we would be scared, possibly have nightmares and suffer permanent psychological harm we went to see "Drag Me To Hell".
This was a mistake.

This movie was FUCKING SCARY! We are not saying it was well made, that the acting was top notch or even that the storyline was great. We are simply saying that this movie achieved its purpose, it scared the living shit out of us. There was jumping and screams and no, sadly, that was not the actors...it was us.

This movie had more things jumping out at you than I could count. Things jumping out or just appearing is scary!

This movie made wind scary. WIND! We are not talking cyclonic wind either. We are talking a gentle breeze. A freaking foreboding gentle breeze! A Zephyr, if you will. I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence.

This movie made a handkerchief scary, it was embroidered for god's sake!

This movie had an ending that was in a word...AWESOME!

Fortunately, this movie did not involve any "standing". People just "standing" and "looking" is just about the scariest thing ever! We are looking at you "Knowing", way too much standing in that movie!

This movie got the job done. I've checked the back seat of my car every time I've been in it since the movie. I had to make an active effort to not think about it as I fell asleep last night. Kate freaked herself out thinking there was something evil close by when really it was her cat in the laundry.

Congratulations "Drag Me To Hell" on a job well done. You are not perfect though, you know what I'm talking about...goat.

Oh and Sam Raimi if you are reading this (pretty sure you are) Kate and I think you should make a sequel. We even have a title for you.... "To Hell and Back"...You're welcome btw and we anticipate your check in the mail.

So in closing Kate and I are awesome (just look at the first word in our blog) but sometimes we are idiots (Cafe Conti Kate..you know what I'm talking about). We also don't learn from our mistakes and I'm sure will torture ourselves again in the not-too-distant future.

So it was a close one but "Drag Me To Hell"?...

DECISION:AWESOME (with some elements of flawsome...goat)

Why Paul Rudd has ruined us for life...

2009-07-24T09:33:00.004+10:00

This is Paul Rudd...the world's most perfect man.

Here at A&F we really, really love Paul Rudd or as he will henceforth be known "The Rudd".

The Rudd is perfection personified. You can argue with us if you want but please understand that any attempt to change our minds futile. The Rudd has made life harder as we must accept the fact that no matter how wonderful they are no other man can compare. We would hate The Rudd but how can we?? Just look at that face.

And so we give you the many reasons Paul Rudd is the most AWESOME GUY ON THE PLANET....

1. He was Josh in Clueless, possibly one of the greatest movies of all time!

2.He is gorgeous but you get the impression he doesn't think he is.

3.He was Paris is "Romeo and Juliet" and kind of makes you think she should have dumped that Romeo loser (the guy was a poet for god's sake...LAME)

4. He's BRIAN FANTANA! The best character in Anchorman!

"You're making me look stupid Panda Jerk!"

5. He's Dave in "The 40 year old Virgin"!

"You know how I know you're gay? You listen to Coldplay"

6. He's Pete in "Knocked Up"

"I want to throw you in the back on my Deloreon and gun it to 88"

7. He's Kunu in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

"Too slow, do less"

8.He's Peter in "I love you, man"

Robbie: "You're not taking these boys to see the Devil Wears Prada ok"

Peter: "Ohh I love that movie"

9. He's Mike in Friends

Mike: Fine, then I'm changing my name.

Phoebe: To what?

Mike: Crap Bag.

Phoebe: What? Mike Crap Bag?

Mike: No, first name Crap, last name Bag.

10. He wrote and stars as Danny in "Role Models"

School boy: Hey nice cow outfit. Where can I pick one of those up at, the gay zoo? Homo

Danny: No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet.

Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her.

...

Gayle Sweeny: You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what I had for lunch? Cocaine.

Wheeler: What did you have for dinner?

Danny: Was it cocaine?

...

Gayle Sweeny: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit?

Wheeler: In what way are we full of shit?

Danny: Which one of us has the Ph.D?

...

11. He is consistently hilarious

12. He has admitted that he finds most people annoying, a concept we here at A&F hold very dear to our hearts

13. He looks hotter the older her gets

14. He named his son Jack, not some weird made-up, airy fairy or religious name

15. They are making ROLE MODELS 2 and he is writing it!

So it is for all these reasons and more that we say Paul Rudd we love you and you are now officially...

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do you have to ruin it for everyone?

2009-07-21T16:45:00.004+10:00

(PS Yes I copied and pasted this image off Perez Hilton's site...but I credited it, so that's okay, right?)

What the fuck, Lady GaGa, is this monstrosity? Seriously? I didn't realise protective Bee Keeping gear was now consider haute couture.

Here's the thing. I LIKE Lady GaGa's song. I felt connected with 'Let's Dance' on a personal level (especially the bit about losing the keys and the phone). Pokerface - fabulous. That new Paparazzi one - gorgeous. But then she has to go and ruin it by being a MASSIVE TOOL.

Sigh. There's being different (step forward the original Mr Different, David Bowie) and then there is just being an attention-seeking wanker. Miss GaGa to the podium please.

Dress like a normal person, I implore you. I didn't want to have to here (that's a lie, I totally did), but:

DECISION: FLAWSOME. Oh, so FLAWSOME

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-10T09:44:00.002+10:00

What is it about the 10th of July??? Why are so many fabulous people born on this day? I personally know 4 people who are celebrating their birthday today. In fact for the month of July I have 9 friends having a birthday! This then leads me to ask what the hell was going on in November 1983?? But that takes me to a weird and scary place, so on second thought let's just forget about that! EWWWWWWWWWWW

This post is a birthday shoutout to 2 very special people...

Firstly I'm wishing my friend Nat McGill the most wonderful day. I went to highschool with Nat but really became friends with her when we began working together. We have been friends for 9 years now and I can honestly say she is one of the kindest people I know. Nat is fun, smart,silly, graceful and stylish, a truly classic person! So Nattie HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

There is another person who is celebrating today...my co founder Miss Kate Robertson! As I was sending her a traditional birthday message this morning it occurred to me that we have now been friends for 20 years! 2 decades! That is truly crazy!

I still remember our first meeting, It was the first day of grade one at FGSS. Kate was the first person I spoke to and unfortunately for me she hasn't shut up since! Our friendship has not been perfect, we've had our fights that's for sure but at the end of the day our fundamental similarities mean we can't NOT be friends.

If Kate thinks something is funny, it's a safe bet I do too. If I think something is crap well again it's 99% likely Kate does too.

Despite the fact that we are both massive sooks who cry at ridiculous things, we aren't gushy people. However on this her 25th birthday I will make an exception. I am very lucky that one of my first real friends is now my oldest friend, who will always be one of my best friends. I'm lucky to have a friend who will call me on my bullshit but 2 seconds later make me laugh. Kate you are one of the funnest, most hilarious, smartest and coolest people I know, a true sister to me. Thanks for 20 years of friendship PANDA JERK!

And so to the birthday girls I give you the following videos! ENJOY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vlA_WFJOuM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrPD5dDkvD8

So in closing...

The month of July, Nat and Kate????

DECISION: TOTALLY AWESOME!

I think I might be a massive nerd

2009-07-09T13:18:00.001+10:00

Soooo...do we all know what today is? July 9, you say? There's nothing significant about that date, you say? YOU SAY WRONG! It is now exactly one week (and approximately 2 hours) until Alli and I will be in a cinema watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Yes, we already have our tickets. Does that make us massive nerds? Quite probably. Do we care? No.

I can't tell you how much I love Harry Potter. I remember a time, probably about two years after the first book was published and there was still much hype about it, I blatantly refused to read it. A boy-wizard, thought I. What a stupid idea. There is NO WAY that could be good. It was the first time I was ever wrong. I can't remember what circumstances caused me to read...oh god, I think it might have actually been Alli recommending it, and knowing how similar our tastes are, I gave in.

I don't know where to even begin with how awesome the Harry Potter franchise is. One of my colleagues tried to tell me yesterday that "Yeah, but she's stolen the plotline of so many other fantasy type novels." Um, I'm sorry, but I don't believe anyone wrote 'Good V Evil'. It just is. So, the books are extremely well-written, I think. Because J.K Rowling isn't pretentious (in my head she's not, anyway. Obviously if I was friends with her in real life I'd be sitting on a tropical island with a cocktail right now, not at work). And because she's not pretentious, she doesn't use 5 words when 1 will do (John Steinbeck, I am LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU. Five pages for a turtle to cross a road in the Grapes of Wrath, I ask you?).

And then the movies...well, Casting Director of Harry Potter films, I salute you! Could they be cast anymore perfectly? If there is one fault to the casting of the Harry Potter films, it's simply the fact that I'm not playing Hermione (Sometimes-annoying know-it-all ? It's the role I was born to play). And then, after my success in my role as Hermione again....on tropical island with cocktail, just rolling about in my money, laughing. None of this 'going to college' business. What's about, Miss Emma Watson?

And now, I will leave you with images Harry Potter cast Stanislav Ianevski (Viktor Krum). Turns out Ianevski is only one year younger that me, so turns out - no lay-buy necessary! Sure, he's Bulgarian and I probably couldn't understand most of what he says...but love transcends such trivial matters, surely?

Harry Potter?

DECISION: AWESOME

My SSB

2009-07-06T16:31:00.000+10:00

For those of you who love "Sex and City" you will know what SSB means. However for those of you who don't let us explain, SSB stands for Secret Single Behaviour. Those little things we girls do that we wouldn't want a boyfriend to see.

I was thinking about this today, about what my hidden pleasures are in life. The things I love to do, my little rituals. I love Who Magazine. I call Friday "Who Magazine Day". I go out I get my Who and a 600ml Diet Coke. I come home sit on my comfy couch, crack open my diet coke and flip the pages.

I love Who Magazine Day. It is not exciting, nor is it thrilling but it makes me happy. Today as Kate said we take time out to appreciate the small things in life that make us smile...

WHO MAGAZINE DAY????

DECISION: AWESOME

The Secret of Life

2009-07-06T09:01:00.000+10:00

So, this weekend was a pretty quiet one for me (Kate). Apart from a drunken night out Friday, which ended in my dancing (awesomely) to Thriller at 2am, I spent the vast majority of the weekend on the couch.

Whilst doing so, it occurred to me what the secret of life is. Please sit down, I am about to reveal what it is and surprisingly, the answer is NOT 43.

Here is the secret of my life:
Letting little things make you happy.

I reached this conclusion fairly quickly after sitting on my ass for about six hours watching an entire season of The Office (the American version). Now, some people may call that self-indulgent. Even (shock horror) lazy. Well to them I say this
*flips them the bird*

After my 6+ hours of couch sitting, which was punctuated by much laughter, I stood up to change DVDs (to Anchorman, but that's another post altogether). When I did this, I didn't think for one minute, wow, I'm really wasting my day. I thought, wow, I'm in such a good mood considering how absolutely hungover I am.

However, maybe I was just still drunk.

Being contented by the small things in life?

DECISION: AWESOME

Why "Full Frontal"should come back...

2009-07-04T21:20:00.000+10:00

REASON ONE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3WWYGg6ang

"Was that your plan????!"

Reason #2 to love Ricky Gervais

2009-07-04T20:59:00.000+10:00

We here at A &F really, really love Ricky Gervais.

Here is another reason. Oh and FYI if either of us get married this song will be sung at one or both of our weddings. We're just that classy.

Love is free and the freeway's long....'sniff' it sure is Ricky...it sure is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JitDWQI9qc

DECISION: AWESOME

Reason #1 to love Ricky Gervais

2009-07-04T20:55:00.000+10:00

Somethings need no words... only dance.

Click on the link below

Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE6P-lwS0lQ

DECISION: AWESOME

Elaine Benes is my hero

2009-07-04T20:29:00.000+10:00

Let me preface this post by saying that my cofounder Kate is not the biggest Seinfeld fan. She appreciates elements of the show but I don't wish to lump her in with me and my Seinfeld loving ways unfairly. So for the record this post comes from me Alli, so those of you who don't like Seinfeld( you're insane) don't judge Kate for the following...

I love Seinfeld.
Some people worship Jesus. I worship Seinfeld. Lets face it they are both fictional right?
But I digress....

In my eyes Seinfeld is perfect. I have never seen an episode I didn't like or a character I didn't love. It is always hilarious and in my opinion finished far too soon.

I have no one favourite character.I don't play favourites. Having said that Elaine Benes is AWESOME! Thus I direct you to the link below to enjoy someone else's well made tribute

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGxPLws7PCo

ELAINE BENES: AWESOME
SEINFELD: AWESOME
HAVING OUR OWN SELF-INDULGENT BLOG: TOTALLY AWESOME

A little perspective

2009-07-04T20:06:00.000+10:00

We love "The Chaser".

Do we think everything they do is funny? No.

Do we understand that while some of the stunts/skits are in bad taste, they are never truly mean spirited? Yes!

The boys have been in the news of late but we're not going to talk about that here. If you want to read about that or get on your high-horse about it this is not the place. We at A & F choose to remember and celebrate the hilarious items they usually produce and with that in mind we have only 3 words left to say...HYPOCRITICAL MOUNTAIN GOATS!

The link below will remind you of exactly why we find "The Chaser" to be... AWESOME!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIyEkh-B2Q8

Shaun Micallef is Awesome

2009-07-04T18:32:00.000+10:00

In the 90's there was a fabulous series called Full Frontal, we're sure you remember it and if you don't we feel very sad for you. This show was brilliant for many reasons but mostly because it introduced us to Shaun Micallef.

With Shaun Micallef came the awesomeness of Roger Explosion, Fabio, Dr Miracle and our personal favourite David McGahan. "David McGahan's World" is bizarre, askew and hilarious. For those of you who remember him we'd like to reacquaint you and to those who have never had the pleasure...get ready your lives are about to change. We foresee this being the first of many Micallef related posts and to that end we begin with what is arguably the best video...

"David MaGahan's World- Cats"

Kate likes cats.
Alli does not like cats.
However we both love David McGahan, he brings people together like Nelson Mandella (that kind of rhymed...extra awesome).

Shaun Micallef and his many incarnations???

DECISION: AWESOME

Click on the link below....DO IT NOW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz0xL2ba1YM

Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough

2009-07-03T19:02:00.000+10:00

Here at A & F, we don't want to get to heavily into issues that are totally really in the mainstream media, or be too political. We're not smart enough for that.

But how can we possibly ignore the Michael Jackson subject?

He was a controversial character, that cannot be denied. However, we here at A & F believe the following
a) he probably did have young boys sleep in his bed. However, although that is grossly inappropriate, we feel that in this case it was probably innocent. He had such a childlike mind himself, for whatever reason, that he probably really didn't see a problem with it, although the rest of the world did.
b) his music, his dance is beyond measure. He, as we see it, passes the likes of Elvis, simply because unlike Elvis, he was CREATING the music.

We were incredibly saddened (although not necessarily shocked) by his passing.

What do you think? We welcome input.

Here at A & F we say:
Michael Jackson's music:
AWESOME
Michael Jackon's death and circumstances surrounding it:
FLAWSOME

And Coming Soon...

2009-07-03T17:13:00.001+10:00

...the list of Flawsome people 2009. You knew that was coming, surely?
You didn't?
GET OUT!

James Franco is awesome...here's why

2009-07-03T17:09:00.001+10:00

We have an obsession with James Franco. We don't need a reason but will give you some anyway. We have 2 words for you "Pineapple Express". We have another 2 words for you "Knocked Up". Finally there is "Acting with James Franco", the links below will take you to smiletown and it's a quick trip.

James Franco???

DECISION: AWESOME!

Acting With James Franco Episode 1: "Sense Memory"

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d338852866/acting-with-james-franco-episode-2-green-screen-from-james-franco-dave-franco-judd-apatow-and-cohenobrien

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f22e3ff675/acting-with-james-franco-episode-3-scene-work-from-james-franco-judd-apatow-cohenobrien-and-dave-franco

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/47d81fb228/a-message-from-james-francos-mom-from-james-franco-and-betsy_franco

Shared via AddThis

The List of Awesome People 2009 (celebrity edition)

2009-07-03T16:12:00.000+10:00

There is a scene in "Knocked Up" where Ben asks Allison if she knows Vince Vaughn. Ben thinks Vince is an awesome guy (who doesn't??) and firmly believes if they were to meet they would be friends. Like Ben I also believe that if I met them I would be friends with several famous people. This belief may be misguided, you may think 'Alli you're an idiot' and to you I say...SHUT IT!

It is with this theory in mind that Kate and I developed "The list of Awesome People 2009 (celebrity edition)". The list is in no particular order and is able to grow and change at a moment's notice....

Tom Hanks
Jeff Goldblum
Meryl Streep
Alan Rickman
Emma Thompson
Natalie Portman
Ewan McGregor
Meshel Laurie
Ricky Gervais
Stephen Merchant
Judd Apatow
Seth Rogen
James Franco
Paul Rudd
Jason Segal
Neil Patrick Harris
Jason Bateman
Kate Winslet
David Bowie
Steve Carrell
Mindy Kailing
John Krasinski
Rain Wilson
Emily Blunt
Vince Vaughn
Lily Allen
Adam Hills
Mick Malloy
Tony Martin
Hamish Blake
Jermaine Clement
Bret McKenzie
Jerry Seinfeld
Sam Neill
Bette Midler
Shaun Micallef
Owen Wilson
Ben Stiller
Michael Caine
Liam Neeson
Rachel McAdams
Jennifer Saunders
Dawn French
Richard Curtis
Eric Bana
Johanna Lumley

The list continues...

Feel free give suggestions on who you think is AWESOME!!!! If we think they make the cut then magically they will appear in the list (by magic I mean we will type them in)

Arrr, me hearties!

2009-07-03T15:32:00.001+10:00

You know what we enjoy - awesomeness that is brought to us. Being inherently lazy, it saves us going searching upon things that are awesome.

Our dear friend of the site, Holly (rank: AWESOME) recently pointed us toward the Pirate-English function on Facebook.

If you go to the bottom of your Facebook page, next to the Copyright symbol there is a hyperlink (i.e blue writing) which opens a new window allowing you to select your preferred language...choose Pirate English. I assure you, hilarity will ensure.

Your Home Page becomes Home Port, you can 'Weigh in' on your 'matey's' 'scawlings'. Even the emails Facebook send you are in Pirate English.

If you are like us, and believe that Pirates (the fictional Johnny-Deppesque ones, not real Somalian ones that overtake Oiltankers) are awesome, then get on board (pun intended) with PIRATE ENGLISH ON FACEBOOK.

Decision: AWESOME

We have opinions...they are awesome and coincidentally always right.

2009-07-03T15:17:00.000+10:00

Frozen Coke.

Frozen Coke is awesome. It's awesomness is indefinable yet unquestionable.

If you don't love Frozen Coke please get off our site.

That is all.

Alli & Kate

Wait, hang on! More things to say

2009-07-03T15:04:00.000+10:00

I totally just realised I forgot to say what was AWESOME today. Today's AWESOME item is iPhones. Yes, you may know of their awesomeness - but I am re-inforcing your pre-held beliefs.

Did you know you can draw on it? And use it as a LEVEL? And a MAP? A MAP! That's crazy talk, crazy!

iPhone, I love you.

DECISION: AWESOME

Our first post

2009-07-03T14:40:00.000+10:00

Welcome to Awesome and Flawsome.

This site is for us to bitch and whinge about people, basically.
Or things. We don't like a lot of things.

For an example, the first example of FLAWSOME is this hideous dress.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! It looked like it was designed by a drunk monkey trapped in a glitter factory.

And don't you start with us about how it's a representation of a sunset and the Opera House (in Sydney, people).

And the designer is try to say about how she might produce a commercial version of it. For the love of God, please don't.

We vote this - FLAWSOME.

Welcome, readers. Get on board the Awesome and Flawsome train (and believe me, I am saying that, not yelling it and following it with a WOOT WOOT!)